He is a daughter’s first love and the first victim of her hormonal wrath. He is the one she bats her eyelashes at when she needs money for shopping, and the one she bear-hugs after a long, stressful day. He is her favorite dork, hero and man on this planet. He is her dad.
From the Barbie days all the way up to when they give us away on our wedding days, our dads are secretly shaping our perception of the types of men we want to be romantically involved with.
We have all heard the ridiculous concept that women chase men who are similar to their dads, but we don’t actually believe this until being in a relationship with someone we are serious about. As the relationship progresses, you learn more about your partner and you start to make the connections.
Soon enough, you’re thinking, “Omg… I’m dating my dad.”
The more you hangout with your boyfriend and hear about his hobbies and what he loves to do, you can’t help but compare him to your dad.
There are two types of people when it comes to hobbies: the crazy, obsessive type and the spontaneous, variety-seeking type. Your boyfriend could be passionate about his hobby; he might put all of his time and energy into pursuing it.
Or, you could have a boyfriend who loves to try new things whenever he gets the chance and changes hobbies every few months.
Something about your boyfriend’s attitude toward his hobbies attracted you, and now, you are realizing it is because your dad is the same way.
Maybe both of them religiously practice a sport or spend all of their free time doing something they enjoy. Or maybe they both can’t seem to stick to one certain thing. Either way, you are weirded out because watching them bro out together at the dinner table over their hobbies is slightly unsettling.
Out of all the men you have met in your life, there was something about the way your current boyfriend treated you that made you want to pursue a relationship with him.
Maybe he was all about being honest and faithful to you, even when you were just in the “hooking up” stages. Or maybe he wanted to be more than just intimate with you; he wanted to be your best friend. Whatever it was, it was something you grew up believing to be important; it was something you learned through watching your parents' relationship.
If your parents have a healthy relationship, without even knowing it, you strive to find someone similar to your dad because of how happy he makes your mom.
So, every time your boyfriend holds doors for you, listens to you when you talk and treats you like a princess; every time he's honest with you in every way, thank your dad for guiding you in the right direction.
When you first meet a guy, aside from his looks, the next thing you are attracted to is his personality. Maybe you like a guy with a sense of humor, a guy with a sensitive side, or maybe a bad boy. You are comfortable dealing with these types of personalities and liking these types of guys seem to be engraved in your brain.
It’s not until your boyfriend cracks the same corny joke your dad just told you the other day that you finally see why you've been attracted to the same types of personalities your whole life.
You list off things you love about your boyfriend’s personality and they are probably identical to your dad's. The more you hang out with your boyfriend, and you see different sides of him that don’t come off on a first date, the more you see parts of your dad in him.
The Little Details
Maybe they both obnoxiously pick at their teeth at the dinner table, stand in front of the television while you're watching your shows, or leave socks in every corner of the house. You’ve managed to find the one person who does all the annoying things your dad does that drive you crazy. But now, you can’t help but find it cute.
It is weird and creepy to think that we are more likely to choose boys like our dads to date because … ew. But, at the same time, we should thank our dads for being such an influential part of our lives and for showing us what a true gentleman should be.
So, the next time you are hanging out with your boyfriend and he acts freakishly similar to your dad, don’t panic too much; it probably means he’s the one.
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