I recently had a conversation with my friend, who is objectively attractive, funny and oh-so-sweet. And yet, he has always been called "the nice guy" and has been rejected more times than he can count because of that.
The thing is, as women, we are constantly told to go for the nice guy. I mean, they are who we usually end up with, right?
And eventually, we realize a variety of things about the nice guys we passed over throughout our years of dating.
Regardless, it's time we drop the ridiculous motto "nice guys finish last," and instead, adopt the new version of "nice guys finish best."
Here are the only reasons you need to make "the nice guy" a priority in your life:
1. Nice guys are kind.
I remember my grandmother telling me to marry a kind man, as she would remind me it makes all the difference in a relationship.
But after a recent conversation with a girl friend of mine, I quickly realized how I'd completely forgotten this advice.
Being with someone nice was never really a priority for me in dating. Smart? Definitely. Funny? Of course. Spiritual? 100 percent. But considerate of my feelings and needs? Nope.
And you want to know why I didn't consider this? Well, over the years, I was my own worst critic. These nice men didn't have the "edge" I so desperately wanted at the time — the same edge that ended up breaking my heart more than a few times.
The more I learn to love myself, the more I want a man to truly love me for who I am, flaws and all.
However, the more I learn to love myself, the more I want a man to truly love me for who I am, flaws and all.
2. Nice guys are dependable.
Truly nice men are the ones who asked someone to their proms because they genuinely liked the person, not because they only wanted to get in her pants.
As women mature, we begin to realize those nice guys are the ones who actually make dates and plans. And guess what? They actually keep them. They even plan ahead, knowing exactly where to take you, and it's usually somewhere sweet and romantic.
Nice guys are also virtually never flaky, and they'll call when they say they will. Even the shy nice guys will still find a way to express their level of interest and where they want the relationship to go.
3. Nice guys are great listeners.
The best thing about being in a relationship is having someone who will remain present in the conversation and actually listen to you — not just nod their head while watching "SportsCenter."
Nice guys are the ones you call when you've had a hard day at work or you've received some bad news because they'll wait patiently until you finish talking, without cutting you off.
And good listeners are often great communicators. They pay attention not only to what you have to say, but to your body language as well.
The unfortunate truth is, some women in their 20s may not be actively looking for a husband just yet. So yes, they may take the nice guys for granted.
But for the women actually looking to settle down, the nice guy will not go unnoticed.
For the women actually looking to settle down, the nice guy will not go unnoticed.
At the end of the day, I'm a firm believer that nice guys don't actually finish last. In fact, I believe they finish best, ending up in a committed relationship with a woman who's worthy of their sincerity and genuine kindness.
For those guys who genuinely call, text and email to see how the girl in their life is doing, women will start noticing. If you can apologize when you're wrong, it won't always be disregarded.
Please don't change because you think women take these attributes for granted. You're a breath of fresh air, and an appreciative partner is absolutely in your future.