If Your Partner Plays This Mind Game With You, He’s Probably A Narcissist

You're having a perfectly fine time hanging out with your boyfriend when — out of nowhere — he decides to bring up this girl he used to hook up with.

It didn't naturally come up in conversation. All you said was, "Let's watch a rom-com tonight," and he responded with, "This chick I used to hook up with LOVED rom-coms. She actually just texted me earlier."

You see, he's just trying to make you jealous. But why bother with these mind games when he already has you?

Well, a new study suggests it might be because he's a narcissist.

Gregory Tortoriello, a psychologist at the University of Alabama, and his fellow researchers were interested in earlier studies that suggested narcissists tend to ruin their own relationships by flirting with other people.

In their study, Tortoreillo and his colleagues challenged the previous studies by trying to figure out the reason behind why narcissists felt the strong urge to make their partners jealous.

Researchers had 237 undergrad students fill out questionnaires that described their personality traits, what they did to make their partners jealous (if anything) and their reasoning behind making their partner jealous.

Just as expected, the more narcissistic the respondent, the more likely he or she wants to make their partners jealous.

The more narcissistic the respondent, the more likely he or she wants to make their partners jealous.

As for why narcissists felt the need to make their partners jealous, we have to take a step back to understand the two different types of narcissism.

The first is "grandiose narcissism." These are the narcissists with high self-esteem who are really just in love with themselves.

The second is "vulnerable narcissism." These individuals have the same sense of entitlement and selfishness that grandiose narcissists have. The only difference is that vulnerable narcissists are actually insecure and have low self-esteem.

With that said, a narcissist's reasoning for making someone they love jealous varies based on the kind of narcissist they are.

Grandiose narcissists make their partners jealous for one reason and one reason only: They want to gain control in the relationship.

Vulnerable narcissists aren't quite that simple. They do it to control their partners, test how strong their relationship really is, boost their own self-esteem and seek revenge on their partners for wronging them in some way.

One thing seems to be consistent, no matter what kind of narcissist your partner is: They aren't making you jealous by accident.

One thing seems to be consistent, no matter what kind of narcissist your partner is: They aren't making you jealous by accident.

"[They are] inducing jealousy in their partners as a means to pursue some greater goal," Tortoriello explains. "They're doing it intentionally."

Obviously, this study has its limitations. The findings aren't a representation of the entire human population, and just because your partner made you jealous one time, doesn't necessarily mean that they're a narcissist.

This is just some food for thought for you.

Citations: Why Narcissists Want to Make Their Partners Jealous (LiveScience)