Being a romantic is difficult in today's society. One would think with the ever present #relationshipgoals on social media, the desire for everyone to one up one another and the fact that we all want to make it seem like we're in the perfect relationship, that wouldn't be the case.
On the contrary, my friend.
Sure, we live in that type of dating culture now, but it can sometimes be fabricated. And what we're not seeing is how a couple treats each other on a day-to-day basis. Most of what we're being shown is the highlight reel involving birthdays or holidays -- not the mundane.
I believe romanticism is something that's innate; either you are romantic or you aren't. I believe making your significant other feel loved, cared for, supported and appreciated as often as possible is important. I believe you shouldn't wait for certain days out of the year to remind your significant other how much you love them.
Therefore, I believe there are small things men can do every day, or at least every few days, for their ladies to strengthen their relationship.
1. Send a quick text.
OK, seriously. This is one of the easiest things on the planet. We're a pretty busy generation and staying connected is super important. All you have to do is pick up your phone and send a quick “Good morning, have a great day” text, or midday “Don't forget to call the dentist today!” text or a simple “You're going to do great on that presentation in the morning. You got this! I love you!” text at night.
That quick jolt of affection, the knowledge your lady crossed your mind at any point throughout your busy day, makes any gal feel special and loved. And it takes, like, 20 seconds to show her you care!
2. Catch up.
At some point throughout the day, it's just nice to have someone ask, “Hey, how's your day?” It allows you to know what your significant other is up to and how they're feeling.
It makes it easier to know what sort of place your partner is in and how you can be there for them. Did they get good news? Be excited for them! Are they stressed out? Figure out how to help. Are they worried? Discuss it.
No girl wants to feel like their significant other doesn't care about their well-being or, even more simply, their day. It's important to catch up, guys. For real.
3. Don't forget the small gestures.
If you don't live with your significant other, doing a few small things to make sure a gal feels she has been missed when you two come together is always greatly appreciated. Did she have a rough week? Stop and get her her favorite treat. Have a plan for dinner or date night so she doesn't have to worry. Show up with flowers.
If you do live with your significant other, anything to help with the day-to-day is always appreciated. Start the laundry, leave her a note to find on her way to work, make her a cup of tea as you make your morning coffee.
All the little things add up. The more you do, the more she'll want to do for you in return. Seriously, one of the greatest things my boyfriend does is let me nap when he knows I've had a busy week, and I appreciate the hell out of him for that.
4. Affection, affection, affection.
I'm a glutton for affection. I want it at all times and believe it's hands down one of the best parts about being in a relationship. While that may sound needy, it's called a love language. (There are five and feel free to discuss it with your partner to find hers.)
When you're together, your hand on the small of her back, a kiss when you leave and a kiss when you come back together, holding hands, hugs -- touching in any way makes a girl feel desired, loved and satisfied in the relationship.
5. Be present.
Everyone is guilty of multitasking, me more than anyone, but I know it's important to be present when your significant other is speaking to you.
It doesn't even really matter what the conversation is about. Your partner wants to be heard and talk with you. Tuning out or playing on your phone doesn't help. Be engaged in the conversation and give her your full attention.
Unless you're Googling a fact the two of you are disputing. Then by all means, continue on for more lively discussion.
6. Avoid dirty laundry.
No, not actual laundry. It seems silly, but not airing all your business across social media or to all your friends really makes a difference.
No one wants all the details of their relationship open to anyone and everyone. If you get into a fight, literally one of the nicest things you can do is keep your problems to yourselves. In a culture where it's common to blast someone at any turn, it's more chivalrous to keep quiet and work it out together instead of on the internet.
7. Let her make the Netflix choice.
Seriously, it's not always your choice. If your girl wants to watch a lovey-dovey movie or a tearjerker, just let her. If you've chosen the last five shows you've watched, let her have the next one, even if you aren't sold on it.
I don't even know if my boyfriend even really likes "The Path," but I chose it and we watch it every week, and in exchange, I watch all the scary movies. Because #love.
These may seem like insignificant details, but they're not. Opening the door, saying “I love you” often and being there for your partner are obvious things. No one hates hearing nice things, no one needs to be the first one through the door. But those things are nice. They're also just common things.
Being there for your gal, being attentive, reminding her how special she is, letting her know you were listening and making sure she's happy are all things that are somehow overlooked.
Girls want to know we're loved, we're supported and someone else is excited for what's going on in our lives because that person is part of that life. We want to feel appreciated and desired.
They may seem simple, but these small acts make a huge difference in any relationship. We're not as complicated as you think we are, dudes of the world! Feed us, sleep next to us, let us choose the Netflix binge every once in a while and remind us we're pretty when we're on our periods.
Try these out and you'll see a difference!