30 Common Mistakes Everyone Makes After Sleeping With Someone

by Kristin Manna

It’s 6:50 am.

I’m debating whether or not I should stick around for morning sex or leave before I overstay my welcome -- nothing is worse than getting kicked out in the morning.

Suddenly I notice two strands of my hair on his blue comforter. "Well, I guess my work here is done," I think to myself. What does my hair have to do with anything, you wonder? The wonderful thing about a woman's hair is that it sheds; it gets everywhere: in your laundry, in your mouth, on your floor.

At some point, a man is going to find a lady’s hair somewhere in his house, and in that moment, he will think of her. Maybe he will call you. But let’s be honest: He probably won’t.

Now what? You had a fun night being in various stages of undress together. So, that means you’re dating, right? Nope, not at all.

Don’t go to the bar you met at and sit there waiting for him to show up. I know, it sounds crazy, but I work in a bar and have seen it happen. I may have even done it myself.

The truth is you just had sex, that's it. No one is just going to sleep with you and think, "Wow, this is the person. I want to introduce to my mother.” Keep your cool, have no expectations and have fun!

I asked 15 men and 15 women about some of the mistakes people have made after sleeping with them. Keep in mind everything is a case-by-case situation.

For all those times of uncertainty, follow this list of things you shouldn't do after sleeping with someone. Can you count how many mistakes you’ve made?

1. Assuming you’re sleeping over

It takes a big assh*le to kick someone out after a night of drinking, especially if you live across town. Just don’t assume; wait for the invite.

2. Only getting water for yourself and not your hookup

3. Lingering in the morning

Get out before you’re kicked out.

4. Using your hookup's toothbrush

5. Saying, “That was better than I thought."

6. Not cuddling

7. Trying to cuddle

8. Going home wearing your hookup's clothing

Guys must lose so many shirts this way.

9. Texting too much

10. Not answering texts

I don’t care who you are; everyone is attached to his or her phone. If you’re not down, just say, “not tonight.” It’s more respectful than not responding at all.

11. Getting drunk and sharing your feelings

12. Asking what your hookup wants and then crying

13. Not being ready to bang again

14. Being clingy

15. Trying to steal your hookup's underwear

16. Fishing for your hookup's real name

17. Not going down on your hookup once you've had sex

18. Not kissing your hookup after going down on him or her

19. Crying or laughing only for minutes at a time

Either behavior is equally as bad as the other.

20. Showing up at your hookup's apartment without notice

21. Stealing your hookup's roommate's shampoo

22. Acting really weird the next time you see him or her

23. Falling for your hookup

24. Telling everyone you know about your night

Can it just be a secret and stay between the two of you? Secrets can be fun.

25. Showing up at your hookup's job

26. Friending your hookup on Facebook

27. Making yourself out to seem in love

28. Trying to kiss your hookup in public

29. Inviting him or her to a wedding

30. Giving your hookup all the power

You’re having sex, too; think about your needs first.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I know plenty of people who got into relationships after having sex, but that’s not the case for everyone. Oftentimes, sex is just sex.

I know I personally have wasted so much time hoping a one-night stand would turn into something more. The best advice after a hookup is just to have no expectations. You can't get hurt if you don't expect anything.

Everything after sex is a bonus. Let the connection run its course and have fun while doing it!