It’s 6:50 am.
I’m debating whether or not I should stick around for morning sex or leave before I overstay my welcome -- nothing is worse than getting kicked out in the morning.
Suddenly I notice two strands of my hair on his blue comforter. "Well, I guess my work here is done," I think to myself. What does my hair have to do with anything, you wonder? The wonderful thing about a woman's hair is that it sheds; it gets everywhere: in your laundry, in your mouth, on your floor.
At some point, a man is going to find a lady’s hair somewhere in his house, and in that moment, he will think of her. Maybe he will call you. But let’s be honest: He probably won’t.
Now what? You had a fun night being in various stages of undress together. So, that means you’re dating, right? Nope, not at all.
Don’t go to the bar you met at and sit there waiting for him to show up. I know, it sounds crazy, but I work in a bar and have seen it happen. I may have even done it myself.
The truth is you just had sex, that's it. No one is just going to sleep with you and think, "Wow, this is the person. I want to introduce to my mother.” Keep your cool, have no expectations and have fun!
I asked 15 men and 15 women about some of the mistakes people have made after sleeping with them. Keep in mind everything is a case-by-case situation.
For all those times of uncertainty, follow this list of things you shouldn't do after sleeping with someone. Can you count how many mistakes you’ve made?
1. Assuming you’re sleeping over
It takes a big assh*le to kick someone out after a night of drinking, especially if you live across town. Just don’t assume; wait for the invite.
2. Only getting water for yourself and not your hookup
3. Lingering in the morning
Get out before you’re kicked out.
4. Using your hookup's toothbrush
5. Saying, “That was better than I thought."
6. Not cuddling
7. Trying to cuddle
8. Going home wearing your hookup's clothing
Guys must lose so many shirts this way.
9. Texting too much
10. Not answering texts
I don’t care who you are; everyone is attached to his or her phone. If you’re not down, just say, “not tonight.” It’s more respectful than not responding at all.
11. Getting drunk and sharing your feelings
12. Asking what your hookup wants and then crying
13. Not being ready to bang again
14. Being clingy
15. Trying to steal your hookup's underwear
16. Fishing for your hookup's real name
17. Not going down on your hookup once you've had sex
18. Not kissing your hookup after going down on him or her
19. Crying or laughing only for minutes at a time
Either behavior is equally as bad as the other.
20. Showing up at your hookup's apartment without notice
21. Stealing your hookup's roommate's shampoo
22. Acting really weird the next time you see him or her
23. Falling for your hookup
24. Telling everyone you know about your night
Can it just be a secret and stay between the two of you? Secrets can be fun.
25. Showing up at your hookup's job
26. Friending your hookup on Facebook
27. Making yourself out to seem in love
28. Trying to kiss your hookup in public
29. Inviting him or her to a wedding
30. Giving your hookup all the power
You’re having sex, too; think about your needs first.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I know plenty of people who got into relationships after having sex, but that’s not the case for everyone. Oftentimes, sex is just sex.
I know I personally have wasted so much time hoping a one-night stand would turn into something more. The best advice after a hookup is just to have no expectations. You can't get hurt if you don't expect anything.
Everything after sex is a bonus. Let the connection run its course and have fun while doing it!