Ladies, This Is What Guys Really Think Of Your Clothes
If you look inside the average guy's wardrobe, you'll most likely see a number of button-downs, a few pairs of slacks, some polos and one pair of jeans. But peek inside the average girl's closet, and it looks like Forever 21 slept with Anthropologie and birthed a bastard child of dresses, rompers and sun hats.
Simply put, ladies have versatile wardrobes filled with different outfits and styles that make little to no sense to dudes. Just how little, you ask?
I asked a group of bros what they thought about certain fashion trends. Names were changed at request, and they got to pick their pseudonyms. Let's see how badly this went.
As the first question in the series, I was hoping to hit the ground running with matching separates. Things didn't get off to a great start with this one.
“Is that when they slap together low-budget clothes from Goodwill?” - Piccadilly Fortsworth, 27
“That sounds like a mistake.” - Jon Dowd, 27
OK, after a quick Google search, some examples were provided and things became a little clearer for them -- sort of.
“Oh, so basically dressing like Taylor Swift?” - Jebediah Moonshine, 28
“If she looks like T Swift, then yes.” - Jethro Hellcat, 27
Again, this wasn't the strongest start. Given how frequently T Swift's name was dropped, I worried this would become a common theme throughout the interviews. Sometimes, intuition is spot on…
From limited gossip news clippings and brief glimpses of blogs, guys have learned ladies borrow inspiration from celebs like Beyoncé and Rihanna. Thankfully, few try to emulate "Poker Face"-era Lady Gaga's meat dress.
Crop tops have cropped up (pun intended) to be a popular summer choice for girls. And what do these dudes think?
“A girl in a crop top probably overplayed 'Bad Blood' at house parties.” - Jethro
“Crop tops are definitely risky. It can be pulled off, but boy it can be a huge mistake.” - Jon
No fashion choice is without its risks: dudes with hairy shoulders in tank tops, for example. But, it seems like bros cast some decent shade onto crop tops. Tread softly.
Ah, yes. The distant cousin of the just-below-the-knee Han Solo boots, this footwear brings many images to mind. Mainly, the girl who always wanted a horse but never really wanted the responsibility of being an equestrian.
“Sometimes, it looks like they're cosplaying a modern Joan of Arc -- or Link.” - Piccadilly
“Honestly, I don't look that far down. Shoes or boots just aren't interesting.” - Jebediah
Huh, guess that settles the boots debate.
What's the final verdict?
After a lengthy discussion, I couldn't help but think these guys were being a little harsh. With a quick follow-up question regarding what they do like, most of the guys explained clothes didn't matter to them overall.
“If we're having a good conversation, I'm not interested in her outfit.” - Jon.
This sentiment rang true for all. So ladies, next time you worry about what to wear, don't give bros a second thought. Just do you and make it work, Tim Gunn style.