Why Men Suck

by Ally Batista

Let me throw a little disclaimer out there for all of you who are sure to comment on this article and say that I’m a lesbian, or post-breakup, or a miserable bitch. Yes, I am going to utilize this time and take advantage of my job as a writer for Elite Daily to rant about certain issues that are currently plaguing me. Sue me.

Guys, I’m sure every single one of you can write an article just as long as this one, if not longer, about how women are the “scum between your toes”. You know what? I can even write a few articles about how awful women are. As a matter of fact, I have on multiple occasions. But that’s beside the point.

The point of this article is for me to express my personal feelings of disdain towards the male population. I’m sure there are millions of guys out there who are more than worthy of my time and devotion, but right now, I’m having trouble finding any. Right now, I only seem to be meeting the shit heads--the guys who seem to be appealing at first glance, appear to be respectable from the first few conversations, and then fuck it all up.

Guys Only Think With Their Dicks

Sex is the only thing that men care about. I used to be naïve enough to think that men would only put in so much effort for a girl whom they only desire for sex. I thought that after two weeks or so a guy would surely give up on the girl and move onto the next one. I always thought that there were plenty of whores to go around for everyone, and then some. But recently, I’ve come to realize that some guys will put in several months of work in an attempt to sleep with a girl.

Girls always think that if a guy is talking to her night and day for several months, he must actually likes her; he probably told her once or twice that he did. Because of this, the girl will sleep with said guy. Guys are getting smart enough that they’ll talk to the girl in normal fashion for a week or two after the sex to make it seem like he is actually interested. Then…. Shit changes. He stops calling you baby; he stops making so much of an effort. What a con artist.

I thought that behavior like this was only common to a small percentage of assholes, but no! Apparently, a lot of fucking guys are like this. Turns out I work with half of them. Blows my mind.

Say Stuff They Don’t Mean Then Call Us Crazy

It’s at this point that the girl gets worried. This guy that she has been wasting her time on for a while, developing feelings for, is acting differently. Was it something she said? Was it something she did? Nope, turns out you were only wanted for one thing.

No, no, no; it can’t be that. He put in so much effort, he wasted hours and hours of his time developing a connection with you. He wouldn’t do that just for sex. Nope, you’re wrong. He would, and he did.

This is also the point where the guy complains to his friends: “This girl won’t leave me alone she like keeps asking me what’s wrong and wants to hang out with me, I just wanted to fuck her doesn’t she get that?” No, the girl isn’t going to get that, because you told her that you liked her! You say things you don’t mean, and then you call the girl crazy when things changed. I don’t get it, do you get it?

Care What Their Boys Think Of Them

I can only assume that guys do this for several reasons. One of which being that they genuinely care what their friends think of them. Yes, you’re an amazing girl. You are completely willing to cook this guy dinner naked with just an apron on every night. What isn’t there to love?

The thing is, the guy realizes this, he is just completely influenced by his surroundings. His friends want him to be single so that he can accompany them on outings to pick up more girls. Society thinks that he’s too young to settle down with one person.

I’m just going to stop here. I can go on and on about why men suck for hours and hours--days and days, even--but the truth is, I love men. They’re so much fun, and I just get along with them better. I’m clearly talking about an isolated instance here, but ladies, if you relate (I know there’s at least a few of you out there who do) you’ll appreciate my bitching.


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