In the middle of what was otherwise mundane discussion between guys about sports, women and beef jerky, one of my friends divulged that he actually prefers being the little spoon when cuddling with his girlfriend.
Stunned at this, I pushed him on it and discovered that while he didn't necessarily prefer it so much as he really enjoyed it, he was willing to bet more men than you'd think actually feel the same way.
I'll be honest, I had my doubts. But, I'm nothing if not a sucker for asking people about their relationships.
So, I polled around my circle of friends, Twitter and elsewhere. And what I found out honestly surprised me.
I expected to get most of my responses like these two married men:
"I'd generally prefer large spoon. I'm not a weirdo," said Joe*, 36.
"I actually am never little spoon. Freaks me out. It's emasculating," said Mike, 28.
But I wouldn't be writing this if I'd only gotten those responses.
What I'm here to tell you, ladies, is more men than you'd think — perhaps even the man you're with right now — wouldn't mind it at all if you let them be the little spoon every so often.
Here are some of the best reasons I've received as to why men like it and, more importantly, why some are embarrassed to admit it:
Some just like to switch things up.
It is good to have a bit more freedom to move around than being a big spoon who is sort of stuck. So you can stay there longer. It's an odd thing to explain. It's nice to mix things up.
— Seth, 31
Some keep their reason simple.
I don't really have a reason. It just feels good.
— Marcus, 30
Even some guys who aren't big cuddlers have their reasons for switching it up.
I don't like cuddling in general due to the added heat and warmth. If/when [my wife] does (against her will) try to act as the big spoon, the only pleasure I get out of it is that her hair is not in my face.
— Derek, 32
While this guy wouldn't commit to being a full-time little spoon, he gave a thoughtful take on gender norms.
I wouldn't call myself a pure little spoon guy, as I like obvious aspects of being a big spoon as well. I guess you could call me 'bispoonual.' I like being a small spoon because it means my girlfriend/one-night stand/mistake and I don't care about gender norms. She doesn't view me as any less manly if I enjoy being the small spoon. That fact is comforting to me. I think it says a lot about trust, love and the stability of a relationship to reverse the typical spooning roles and for both people to enjoy it.
— Wallace, 31
This guy thinks there's only one way to go.
When it comes to spooning, there are two kinds of people in this world: people who enjoy being the little spoon and fucking liars.
— Josh, 24
In the interest of full disclosure, that same guy also made some non-aggressive, solid points about why he likes little spooning:
I enjoy little spoon because it is a physical way to feel cared for — to be the recipient of affection. I wouldn't generally cuddle with a female I don't have strong feelings for, and thus, I wouldn't have interest in being the little spoon unless there was a strong base of comfort in the relationship.
— Josh, 24
And this guy also thinks it feels nice to be the one getting the warm lovin'.
Seldom am I the little spoon, but I do like being cuddled occasionally. It's nice to be embraced. There's something about it that's just kind of pure and essential, and I think anyone who disagrees with that is lying to him/herself.
— Clark, 30.
And finally, one guy made a sports analogy, so I have to include it:
It's a nice changeup. Big spoon is still the fastball. You work that thing in there, move it around the zone — probably about 80 percent of your pitches. But little spoon is surprisingly enjoyable and effective, so long as it isn't the predominant position.
— Kevin, 30
We all know the benefits of being a little spoon: increased comfort, warmth, stability and, most importantly, the freedom from having an arm fall asleep.
I'm not saying women should relinquish primary little spoon responsibilities. Of course not.
I'm just saying, maybe share the wealth a little bit. Your man may act like a tough guy, but there's a decent chance he'll enjoy the change of pace every so often.