I think we can all agree being ghosted sucks.
As part of my column, "Boom, Ghosted," I read through dozens of stories of people (mostly women) getting ghosted every week. And one theme is always consistent: They wish they knew why these guys just stopped talking to them out of the blue.
So I decided to explore a different angle of this topic by taking a look at ghosting from the perspective of the ghoster.
Six brave men came forward to answer two simple questions for me:
- How long were you dating?
- Why'd you ghost her?
Read along and gain some ~perspective~.
The workaholic who ghosted his girl after one year together.
We had been working together for a while making videos, but it became impossible for us to produce documentary content objectively and effectively because we were dating. My work is very important to me, but I found myself pitching 'fluff' pieces and spending exorbitant amounts of company money on lunch just to spend more time with her. Ultimately, I had to leave my job because I am not grown up enough to work in the same room as her. Thank you to my superiors for pointing this out!
— Sammy, 23
The cautious dude who ghosted his girl after one month together.
She ended up having a coke problem. It was creating drama and I needed to remove myself from it.
— Steve*, 30
The commitment-phobe who ghosted his girl after three months together.
Not into it anymore. She was trying to get more serious; I was exploring other options.
— Drew, 26
The family-oriented guy who ghosted his girl after two weeks together.
She would drunkly show up at my parents house, screaming to let her in.
— Rich, 23
The "polite" guy who ghosted his girl after one date.
She was unattractive, and when you really think about it, ghosting is one of the most polite ways of letting one off the hook.
— Robb*, 26
The nice guy who ghosted his girl after two months together.
The more I got to know her, the more I didn't like her... I'm not the kind of guy who enjoys breaking hearts, so I kind of just "ran away" from the situation... and by running away, I mean I just stopped talking to her. Sometimes it's hard to tell someone you don't want to talk to them anymore.
— AJ, 24
Honestly, I never thinking ghosting is the right option.
Even just a two word text saying "it's over" is probably doing the other person more good than you just disappearing from their life altogether.
But I must say, I get where some of these guys are coming from.
Especially the one with the drunk girl who showed up at his parents' house in the middle of the night. She's gotta go.
*Names have been changed.