In the beginning, we all suck at meeting women in public.
You will likely not be an exception.
Approaching hot women with no introduction can feel really overwhelming and intimidating to a lot of dudes.
But when you get good at it, your dating and sex life will improve big time.
Why? Because being unafraid in the face of rejection is really f*cking hot, and girls dig it.
You’re Going To Hate This, But Do It Anyway
For the last 10 years, I’ve been coaching men in the realm of dating. Pretty much universally, they're all terrified of walking up to a woman they don’t know and flirting with her, no matter how much they may want to.
You know the most insane thing? I’ve known men who would rather strap on an M-16 and run onto the battlefield in Afghanistan than approach a hot girl at a bar.
Yes. You read that correctly: They would rather risk death by the Taliban than face rejection.
I have one exercise I make all my clients do when they first start out.
When these guys do what I tell them (and some of them don’t, because it’s hard), I see across-the-board improvement every time. Some of them have even met their wives this way.
So, do you want to know what it is?
Approach 100 girls in three hours.
Let me just preface this by reiterating at the beginning, you’re really going to suck at this.
You shouldn’t think of it as an exercise in getting phone numbers or getting dates. You should think of this as an exercise in social freedom.
Here, you’re working to get over your insecurities and the fear of looking bad/silly/completely stupid.
The truth is, there’s nothing more attractive than someone who doesn’t take things personally or doesn't fear rejection.
When you interact with someone who’s like this, you’re free to be completely honest, especially because there’s usually very little risk of miscommunication.
Here’s the exercise, in three steps:
- Go to a mall, outdoor festival or any other crowded public place, at a time when there are many people there.
- For the best results, take at least one buddy who will keep you accountable. Even better? Make a bet. If you don’t complete the exercise, he keeps your $100.
- The goal is to approach at least 100 girls in three hours.
Yes, there is a possibility you will be rejected. Yes, there is a possibility you will be ignored.
But there is also a very good possibility you’ll chip away at the fear of meeting women in public.
Some tips and tricks:
If you’re completely terrified, start with something easy, like asking for the time or asking for directions.
However, if you really want to get past your fears of looking bad, you shouldn’t spend too much time hesitating around the real challenge. Be direct as soon as possible.
When you see a cute girl, stop her and say, “Hey, I had to risk embarrassing myself to come over here to flirt with you...”
Usually, she’ll laugh, and the conversation will begin.
Another good opener is, “Hey, do you know how to get to Starbucks?”
As soon as she starts answering, you can interrupt her and say, “Actually, I don’t care. I just wanted to flirt with you.” Most of the time, she’ll laugh and feel flattered at that, too.
It usually takes about 100 of these approaches to make a serious dent in the way you feel about it. It takes about 1,000 of them to make this second nature, which means, when you see someone you like, you’ll just go for it without thinking too much.
Ultimately, this is an exercise in not giving a sh*t.
You’re always going to give a little bit of a sh*t, because there’s always some intention to make things happen.
But the idea is your self-confidence is tied less and less to the results you see with women.
Ironically, that’s when you’ll actually start attracting the ones you want.