Moving In With Your SO Could Actually Set Your Relationship Backwards
If you want a ring, don’t move in with your boyfriend.
Did you read that right?
Yes, you did. I said "don't."
You probably won't listen to me anyway.
"How will I know if he leaves the toilet seat up, if he likes his sock drawer color-coordinated or if we can actually stand each other 24/7?"
But hear me out.
Before you move in together, you need to discuss the expectations of where the relationship is going.
If you want to both never get married, then great. Mazel tov!
What I don’t understand is why this generation feels the need to live together before at least getting engaged.
Why do we have expectations of marriage if it was never discussed?
I’ve seen so many women move in with men because they think they have to prove themselves to get a ring.
They are too nervous to talk about wanting that commitment for fear of scaring the man away.
So, they settle. They cave in and make the move with bae.
Say what? Prove yourself? Settle?
That is insanity.
Back in the day, it would be taboo to even think about moving in before marriage.
Yes, I know we are in 2016. But the issue of divorce is now prevalent.
People use living together as a means to avoid divorce, but that excuse is old and worn out.
Newsflash: Relationships will always be hard work.
The time you first get married is when you love each other the least.
Love is an empty box.
Each of you starts adding things into the box: communication, compromise, love and putting the toilet seat down.
Over time, your love grows stronger because of the open communication between the two of you.
This isn’t based on religious views. I think a woman should be free to choose and decide what is best without constantly being judged.
Some women don’t want to get married, and that’s awesome.
But this is for the women who think they are guaranteed rings if they move in with their boyfriends.
But ladies, if you want marriage, don’t move in with him.
This generation is doomed.
No one will say it, so I will.
Men fear engagement rings.
But they will sign a lease with you, adopt a rescue dog and make sure you cook and do laundry, just to see if you are compatible on a day-to-day basis.
This sounds like having a glorified roommate to me.
But damn, why would he want to make the commitment to marry you if you're already doing all of those things?
Call me old-school, but I've grown up in an environment that seems to be dwindling away.
It makes me sad because now, the norm is you have to move in with each other.
Getting engaged is seen to be a second thought.
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
This what I hear when I ask why men are avoiding rings.
Many Millennials believe marriage will just always lead to the dreaded D-word (divorce).
Married life, of course, is going to be different.
Living with someone is always going to be different. It's an adjustment period regardless.
What do we look forward to in marriage? Do we save anything for it?
Why do you want to just give everything away?
I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about waking up next to each other, snuggling on cold mornings and being together every day.
There is a beauty that happens once a future is promised. There's an excitement to look forward to.
It seems engagements and marriage have negative connotations.
I’m supposed to move in with you, play house, pay the bills and not even know if there's a lasting future together?
There is no sense of urgency either.
You become comfortable, so you don't have to exude a lot of effort.
He will feel like he doesn't have to put a ring on your finger for a long time, unless you start demanding.
I mean, you are already doing everything a married couple does.
I don’t believe the feminist talk that women don’t want the commitment.
When girls move in with their boyfriends, they are picturing getting married, having babies and growing old together.
The romantic idea of a soulmate has this generation is so confused.
They want the romance from "The Notebook." But yet, they settle for being a roommate to their significant other.
But for guys? This is a test drive.
They want to see how she is while they're living together. They want to see if they really want to be together forever.
Does she fart and poop, or is it all rainbows and glitter?
Does she look the same without makeup?
These are all things I've heard men say, and I can't believe it.
If I see another girl share articles with titles like “A List Of Things Gentlemen Should Do” or "The Lost Art Of Dating,” I will scream.
So, you want your relationship to be romanticized like "The Notebook." But you just settle for less.
Pull it together.
Ladies: If you want the ring, set the rules.
You have the choice to say yes or no.
Gentlemen: If you want a wife, put a ring on it.