Why I Want The Man Who Left Me To Fall In Love With Someone Else
Maybe it was the way you kept me hanging, or maybe it was the way you could make me feel like no one ever had before.
But for a year, I couldn't stop going to back to you.
You could make me so happy just by putting your arm around me in your sleep.
But being ignored for the majority of the relationship, however, was a downer.
To this day, I'm still not sure why you kept me around so long.
Since last August, I've been in denial.
I believed what I wanted to believe, that I was yours and you were mine.
After approximately 365 days, I realized what I was doing to myself and to you.
The hardest part for me was accepting the one thing I didn't want to believe: You were never going to love me.
Little did you know that I cared about you more than anyone else had in your life.
I saw the good in you, even when you didn't see it in yourself.
I was always positive about you, even when you didn't give me a reason to be.
I was naïve, blinded by love and did anything to make it work with you.
However, I do not have that perspective about you anymore.
Even though that part of me no longer exists, I still believe there is good in you. That's just the kind of person I am.
You never cheated on me.
Maybe you didn't care about me enough to make it work, but you did respect me enough to not lie to me and tell me you loved me.
For those reasons, I will always respect you.
Our relationship did not work. This wasn't because of you, but because of me as well.
I forced a lot upon you and I expected more from you than you could give me.
The way we approached certain things was always communicated in the wrong way. It seems like we were never on the same page.
Even though I may not ever be good enough for you, I have finally grown enough respect for myself to leave.
I'm going to let you go, and I'm not going to look back.
As many times as my friends have said it, I finally believe it. I deserve better than you.
For months, I wondered what I did wrong. I wondered what was wrong with me and what I could do to make you love me.
One day, I realized it was not me who was the problem. It was you.
I finally respect myself enough to give myself the love I deserve.
I am happy with myself. I have found happiness in spending time with my friends and my family, and doing the little things I enjoy.
I can be okay without you. My happiness is no longer dependent on whether you give me attention every day or not.
You will probably never read this letter, or even pay attention to another word I speak in your direction.
That's okay because I am writing this for myself. I'm not writing this to get the last word.
I will not text you, I will not answer your drunken calls at 3 am next Thursday and I will not look at you the same way when you approach me at a party.
Sadly, I'm not sure if you'll even notice when I'm no longer in your life anymore.
However, I hope that one day, you'll fall in love the way I fell in love with you.
Don't force it away. Just let it happen.
Love can be a beautiful thing when you allow it to happen under the right circumstances.