Not every man in the zodiac is a great lover, and some of them deserve to get called out.
Of course, this doesn't apply to every guy who belongs to one of these signs, but you know, it does to most of them.
(Disclaimer: Please do not consider this therapeutic advice or absolute truth. I had trouble fully changing out of my pajamas to come to work today.)
These are the zodiac men who are likely to be cheated on:
God bless you, Aries.
You're so enthusiastically naive that your understanding of your lover, of who she truly is, is sometimes seen through real horseshit-colored glasses.
You're so busy singing your woman's praises that you miss out on important details about her, and these details are actually very obvious.
Remember the way she spent six months pleading with you to go to therapy for your obvious tendency to idolize, or her subtle hints at sexual dissatisfaction by never once having a noticeable orgasm?
"UGH, women are so ambiguous!" you might say. No, Aries, they're not.
Susan said exactly what she wanted, but Isaiah The Spoken Word Poet heard her, and you didn't.
Gemini, you're the biggest flirt in the zodiac.
Not only are you busy flirting with everyone else at HER office Christmas party, but your love of teasing a girl's sexual appetite also translates to the bedroom, and not always in a good way.
Every woman loves to get some head, but 60 minutes of foreplay is honestly just weird.
While she's wondering when this train is going to pull into dicktown, you're down there completely stalling.
Are you checking for something? What is going on?
After awhile, it starts to feel like you're either trying to show off or just avoiding eye contact, but nobody is going to want to stick around for another four-hour session with King of Cunnilingus to find out.
Even Sting knows you've eventually got to lay some pipe.
Virgo, I don't want to freak out at you since genuine feelings seem to terrify you, but guess what? That's what relationships are: people sharing genuine feelings.
Sometimes, feelings don't make sense, and they overwhelm the people who are having them, making them reach out to their loved ones for support.
I know feelings are tough to grasp for you, being a sign that bases everything on logic, but you'll grasp it when your SO decides to sleep with their therapist because he's the only one who listens to them cry.
Sagittarius, you're the sign symbolized by the archer, drawing back his bow, but that doesn't mean you always hit the target.
You're great about engaging in the thrill of the chase, but you don't exactly bring a Leo-DiCaprio-"Titanic"-level passion to the bedroom.
Don't get me wrong; you bring your A game, and physically, it's THE JAM. But some weirdos actually enjoy making eye contact instead of staring at themselves in the mirror belting Springsteen hits during sex.
Luckily, when your SO goes elsewhere, you'll move on fairly quick. You don't like to dwell.
This one breaks my heart because Aquarians really care, but you guys just don't have a clue how to show it.
You're all so lost in your own ideas that you completely fail to notice the girl of your dreams is packing her bags to go move in with her pilates instructor.
Afterward, you won't bother to ask her where you went wrong because you don't really have passion for love, and you're far too busy with your own life to make it work or handle the stresses that come along with it.
Hear this, Aquarius: Not every problem can be solved by intellect.
Some problems need to be addressed directly, even if the world of emotion is totally foreign to you, and even if you feel like an alien life form visiting Earth.