4 Signs You're Into The Idea Of A Person More Than The Actual Person

by Ashley Grates

We've all been infatuated by someone, whether it was the guy you sat next to in your Psych 101 class or the girl you always saw at the gym.

Before we even know these people, we are in love with the idea of them, who we think they are and who we really want them to be.

But when we get to know these people, we realize we're really only crushing on the idea of them, not the actual people.

We wanted to pretend they're everything we could have ever wanted and more, but then reality hits: They happen to be just another person who exists on this planet.

When you're in love with the idea of love, you fall for anything that smiles at you.

From the beginning of time, fairy tales have given us a distorted view of love.

They make us think falling in love can happen at the bar on a random Thursday night.

But, not every boy you meet will be your Prince Charming and not every girl you encounter will be your Cinderella. Here's what happens when you only like the "idea" of someone:

1. You desperately wanted to share the person's interests.

She loves working out, so you suddenly found yourself at the gym, just working on your fitness.

This is great — don't get me wrong — but we both know you were there for all the wrong reasons.

He's into rap music, so you brushed up on the basics to have something to talk about.

You wanted to have the same interests because you thought you liked him or her, and you believed he or she was worth listening to a day's worth of rap music for.

Unfortunately, you thought wrong.

2. You defended this person.

"He spoke about himself the whole time." "Come on [insert friends name here], that's not true. He's not self-absorbed! He's outgoing!"


"She went crazy on her ex-boyfriend." "I bet he was the crazy one. I heard he had anger issues, so that must've been it. Look at her, she looks harmless!"

Whatever this person was doing wrong, you were there to justify it. He or she was filling the void inside of you, and you didn't want that to stop.

3. This person is perfect... on paper.

He was likable, cool, athletic and funny. You thought he was the full package, but his personality lacked depth.

He wasn't the type of person you have deep conversations with at3 am.

Instead, he was the person who only contacted you at3 am.

There is a huge difference.

4. Once you got to know this person, you realized he or she was nothing special.

Ah, blinded by love (or, in this case, infatuation).

The small things she did became painfully annoying.

The way she talked about herself, how she treated strangers and how she reacted in bad situations were all things very unappealing to you.

You realized you had no desire to listen to hardcore rap music 24/7 or spend your Saturdays at the gym. No thanks, you'd rather eat a donut.

You simply enjoyed the attention he or she gave you and nothing more.

Some people are better left observed from afar.

Their mysterious natures were meant to stay mysterious, and the small infatuations you had with them were nothing more than harmless crushes.

I mean, of course, you were in love with the ideas of these people.

They were ideas you formed in your own head! You created the people you wanted them to be, and they just didn't measure up.