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It's Their Loss: Why Being Broken Up With Isn't A Poor Reflection Of You

There are few feelings in the world that can surpass the depths of heartbreak. Getting your heart broken will expose you to sensitivity and vulnerability so severe, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.

There are a million thoughts that will run through your head: “Why wasn’t I good enough?”; “What could I have done to make him/her stay?”; “Will I ever find a love like that again?”

You cry; you scream; you question your ability to be loved. You lose faith in humanity and faith in yourself. Just the thought of that person can trigger you into a swift, downward fit of anxiety and depression.

I have noticed from carefully observing people recently that no one ever fully recovers from a broken heart. Yes, people move on, find their “soul mate,” get married and leave their past in the past, but you can see the lingering hurt in their eyes.

Sometimes, the mere mention of that one lover's name will bring someone right back to the dark place in which he or she dwelled during the aftermath of the heartbreak. So, while people move forward and find the strength to be happy again, no one ever forgets.

There isn’t much that can be said to someone who is suffering through a broken heart. Sure, there are a million quotes about overcoming heartbreak, but much of it is never helpful, especially in the beginning.

Chances are if you’ve known the agony of a bleeding heart, you’ve heard these quotes over and over again from loved ones who are tired of seeing you as a lesser version of yourself.

But there’s a common phrase that is frequently used to comfort the broken hearted that actually makes a lot of sense when you think about it: It’s their loss.

Like many people, when my heart was broken, I brushed those simple three words aside, sweeping them under the rug with the rest of the cliché phrases that didn’t seem relevant at the time.

When you’re so overcome with grief, it’s difficult to look at yourself and see the beautiful physical features staring back at you and the positive inner qualities that make you special. Any sense of self-worth is thrown out the window.

While it’s challenging to see the good inside of you when you’re broken, this is the time where you should be seeing it the most. Sounds crazy, right? Bear with me here.

Learn from your broken heart rather than letting it tear you down. Learn about yourself, and take notice of everything you’ve accomplished during these dreary months of self-loathing.

Become aware of your extreme ability to feel on such an emotional level. It may seem like an annoyance at times, but you have been blessed with the gift of benevolence. This pain wouldn’t hurt so badly if you hadn’t loved so passionately.

Realize how lucky the other person was to come across such a sensitive soul, and know that your broken heart is only proof that you are able to love someone so deeply.

It’s an amazing thing to let your guard down and let someone into your heart the way you did. Appreciate the notion that you are capable of breaking down your walls and being someone’s other half. Some people never find strength to do that.

You should be looking at yourself with a sense of pride because you were willing to fight. You wanted to work at it. You believe in fixing something when it’s broken, rather than just throwing it away.

Know that your determination will get you so far in life. Ambition when it comes to love is a very admirable quality.

I learned more about myself from swimming out of the pathetic tsunami of tears that had become my life than ever before. I learned about my strength and my weaknesses.

I learned that I don’t have a revengeful nature or the desire to push someone down because I am insecure about myself. I learned that I am more than capable of loving someone with all of my heart and being loved.

But most importantly, I learned that I am deserving of someone who sees my caring, compassionate and sensitive nature and wants to love me based on that.

So it is their loss. I even feel pity for these people because they were too ignorant to see what an amazing person they had right in front of them. Only fools will let you go.

I know it’s hard to think in these terms, and I know you may not be in the place to let these words resonate with you, but I promise you will understand one day when someone gives you the overwhelming love you’ve always deserved.

It’s time to start believing that it’s their loss. It’s time to take a different approach to the hurt you’re feeling. You’re broken and battered from loving and losing, but the knowledge you will gain about yourself through this tragic experience will truly make it worth it in the end.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It