Why Losing 'The Spark' Gives Your Relationship A Chance To Grow

by Bria Kiara

The thing we don’t realize about a relationship is that once the honeymoon phase is over, two people should still continue to be together.

Nothing is wrong, and nothing is lost.

The flame has gone, but that doesn’t mean you have to be cold.

Once this has happened between two individuals in a romantic relationship, the love can grow.

Love isn’t about having butterflies in your stomach whenever you think about that person, or your heart beating fast whenever you see him or her.

Love is about always thinking of this person while doing the little things during your day, like if you’re out and see something in the grocery store he or she might like.

Or, you could be passing by a really funny advertisement that reminded you of something your SO once said.

When you see that person at the end of the day, or when you’re out with that person and you look into his or her eyes, your heart won’t race and the breath won’t be stolen from your lungs.

Instead, something much sweeter will happen: You’ll feel at peace.

You’ll feel calmness because this person is home to you, and there is nothing in this world more relaxing.

When everything else is going wrong, you can look at this person and be brought back down from your stresses and worries.

Everything will be alright when your SO kisses your forehead or smiles at you with food in his or her teeth.

The relationship can lose its luster.

Flirting and sex will not be the same.

Instead of receiving a hot text in the middle of your workday, your heart will flutter by having your booty grabbed when you get up from the couch to refill your drink.

Instead of paying for expensive dinners at Olive Garden or Red Lobster, you’ll get excited by your SO bringing home Taco Bell after a long day of school or work.

You will learn to appreciate the little things you two do for each other, and soon, these small gestures will outdo all the grand gestures because there will be one bold and big thing behind them: love.

Love is not lust.

Love cannot be determined by how often you two have sex, or how you two cannot possibly keep your hands off of one another.

Love is about affection.

Love is knowing what his or her touch feels like, and how good it feels to be in his or her arms.

Love is when you know how his or her hand is supposed to feel when you find it in the crowd.

And even in the beginning, when the sex was hot and perpetual, it will turn into something else.

This doesn't mean you two can never return to that kind of rough play, but sex will turn into lovemaking.

Sex becomes so much more passionate when you add love to it, and it won’t just be about getting each other off.

It will be about seeing how you two fall apart together when it’s all over.

Love is about familiarity.

Love is like looking into that person’s eyes and thinking, “Oh, there you are. Where have you been all this time?”

Love is the feeling you get when you know why it hasn’t worked out with anyone else before.

So, if you’re in a new relationship and doubting it because the flames have fizzled out, don't.

Everything that was there in the beginning is still there.

You just have to look closer.