#DoLess: 23 Different Ways To Lose A Guy In A Single Text
You and this guy have been texting for a little bit, and everything's going great until, for some seemingly inexplicable reason, he stops answering. But there is a reason, and it's the text that broke the camel's back.
Chances are, if you sent any of these, you've ruined your chances of hanging out with him ever again.
"But why?!" you may ask yourself. "Why isn't he answering me?" "What I said wasn't that bad, was it?' Well, lady, you ignored the first and most important rule of all: No response is the best response.
But what exactly is it that made your "man" go running for the hills? Well it's probably because you committed one (or more) of the following crimes...
1. Triple texting
I totally get back-to-back text messages if you prematurely hit the send button without completing your thought, but three in a row is just pushing it. If you said something stupid, don't try and make up for it, just leave it, it's a lot less weird in comparison to a multitude of back-to-back texts.
2. Relaying your life story
If he didn't ask for it, don't give it. It's as simple as that. Newsflash: If a guy cared, he would ask. Also, if you are telling him every single detail about your life, what the hell are you going to talk about in person?
3. Immediately responding
It's basically a given that you have your phone in your hand 99 percent of the time, but that doesn't mean you need to respond immediately. Even if you are just binge-watching Netflix while stuffing your face — PRETEND YOU HAVE A LIFE.
4. Trying to resurrect a clearly dead conversation
Let it go... let it go... let it go...
If the conversation seems like it's over, even in the slightest, it's been dead for the past 10 minutes. Just accept it.
5. 7-scroll messages
Keep it short, sweet and simple. No one, let alone a guy you are interested in, wants to have to scroll up and down to read ONE of your messages.
6. Sending poorly-timed, poorly-shot nudies
If you have to think twice about what you are sending — don't send it.
Don't send your guy a naked picture if you know he's in a business meeting, that's not cute, that's just stupid. Especially after my girl Jennifer Lawrence suffered as much as she did...
This is probably one of the worst things you could ever, ever do. At least pretend you are normal, until you trap this guy into a relationship before you let your nagging out.
8. Awkward drunk texts
Nothing good can come from texting a guy when you are blacked out. All this will lead to are incoherent words and slurred speech.
9. Slurred confessions of love
The quickest way to drive a man away is an immediate and premature overflow of emotions. Keep your sh*t in check, this is not something that should be confessed while intoxicated.
10. Pretending you don't know who's texting you
Who is this? Idiot...
Why would a guy want to hear all this negativity this early in your texting relationship? One or two complaints here and there are fine, but more than that in a small time period is just not the way to win him over.
12. Texting the guy about him when you mean to text your friend
Before you relay the details of your sex life, make sure you are actually texting your best friend and not the guy you are talking about — especially if they are only negative things. Also, sending photos of him to him... woof.
13. Over-using emojis and punctuation
Are you really that excited???? REALLY????? No one is ever that excited over anything...
14. Asking repeatedly why he can't hang out even though he's provided you with 10+ excuses
Take a f*cking hint. There is one thing about guys you must understand: If they want to do something, they will do it. They already made plans, but really want to see you... THEY WILL CANCEL THEM.
15. Responding days later in regards to plans that already happened
That doesn't make you look cool or unattainable, that makes you look like a grade-A douchebag.
16. Calling him by the wrong name
Yes, because two-timing a guy you're interested in is the best way to land him...
17. Always including "haha" in the text
The GIF says it all.
18. Offering way more details than he asked for
Please spare any and every extra unnecessary detail. If he didn't ask, don't offer it up. Sure, you are just trying to keep the conversation going, but there is a line you do not want to cross.
19. Only/Never texting after 2 am
That just sends contradictory signals. Figure out what you want, and be consistent.
20. Calling him by a pet name
NOOOOOOOO. Do you want him to just run away? Because that is exactly what you are asking for by doing this. Yes "baby" counts.
21. Asking why he didn't respond yet
Because he is busy living his life!!! As you should be, too. There is nothing less attractive than desperation.
22. Calling him bro or dude
You are neither his brother nor his dude. These things make him think of his guy friends, WHICH YOU ARE NOT. If you ever plan on having sex with a guy, this is the fastest way to make it NOT happen.
WTF does this even mean? This is not a proper way to respond to a yes or no question. This is an empty response... IT MEANS NOTHING! Avoid at all costs. You're welcome.