How To Lose A Guy In 5 Ways: What Testing His Boundaries Can Teach You
Let's face it: The inside of a female's head can sometimes be a terrifying place. It's the stuff of which horror movies are made, really. One of the most particularly terrifying times is when a relationship simply evaporates.
There's no explanation, no logical cause. It just ends and we're left to wonder where things went wrong.
If you've ever been on the receiving end of unanswered texts or canceled plans, you've probably also made yourself familiar with the bottom of a wine bottle. As the participant of a handful of "almost" relationships that didn't quite come to fruition, I've been there.
I don't feel any remorse for these relationships not having worked out, particularly because the dots eventually connected. You know what they say: You'll realize why things never worked out with anyone else when you meet the right one, or something like that.
I feel that it is my right — nay, my duty — as a female to share with the world the relationship killers of which we've all most definitely been guilty:
1. Coming On Too Strong
Men respect a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it, but there is such a thing as coming on too strong. Like the co-worker who wears just a tad too much cologne, it's obvious. You can't assume that everyone experiences feelings at the same level as you.
Maybe you enjoy expressing your emotions by creating Instagram collages. Understand though, that instead of conveying the message that you're in it for the long haul, you may convey your insanity, especially if you've known each other for a short period of time. All good things take time.
2. Not Coming On Strong Enough
Unfortunately for the human race, the habit of acting like you don't care is still prominent in today's dating scene. It's not uncommon to act aloof and unaffected — it does convey a certain sense of mystery.
But, if you're exuding the impression that you literally couldn't care less if this person was in your life or not, it's bound to end badly. Read: Don't ignore a text for three days. No one is that busy.
Everyone requires a bit of encouragement now and then. Don't expect someone to put in the effort where it's not reciprocated.
3. Treating Them Like One Of The Girls
A good partner will be your shoulder on which to cry and will listen to how crappy your day was without judging you if you eat an entire bag of chips in one sitting.
However, most of the male population isn't super interested in dissecting every word of the text you received from your best girl friend. How interested would you be in a lengthy discussion about the fumble during Sunday's game?
I've found that more often than not, men don't attribute the same importance to certain situations that women do. Don't be surprised if you're met with indifference on some subjects. The reality is, there are some things only girls will understand.
This is the bane of many females' existences. After 23 years, I've become convinced that there is a gerbil living in my head, running on a little wheel that just fuels my habit of overthinking. What did he mean by that? Should I ask him? There aren't emoji in that text. He hates me.
This is pretty self-explanatory. Most of the things we worry about never happen. Just save yourself the stress and quit this relationship killer.
This should have been number one.
5. Motherly Loving...
No woman can replace a man's mother. No woman should want, to either. Understand that you do not become a man's keeper once you enter a relationship. Nagging and complaining lead to resentment. Nothing kills a potential relationship quite like reminding your partner how messy/lazy/unmotivated/etc. he is. No one is perfect — didn't we learn this as children?
Constantly complaining and nagging is zero fun for anyone involved. A relationship blossoms because two people enjoy each others company. This is literally impossible if one of the two is always tearing down or reprimanding the other about trivial things. Just chill.
While the list can go on, I want to make one thing very clear: This isn't to say that the fault of a failed relationship is always of the woman. This isn't meant to be misogynistic.
Based on movies, books, friends and, of course, personal experiences, the above examples simply drive people further from each other, instead of bringing them closer.
But, I have some wonderful news for you. Chances are, if something didn't work out, you haven't lost a person because you never really had him or her. The right people stay in your life.
But, you can always use the above as a guide if you want to get rid of someone quickly! (I am serious about the Instagram collages, though. Just stop.)
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It