Why Your Ability To Listen Is Scientifically More Sexy Than Your Looks
In this Digital Age, where we’re continuously prompted to share our thoughts, statuses, feelings and photos, it seems like there’s a constant chatter going on. We’re more focused on getting our message out than actually hearing what others have to say.
Maybe it’s time we all took a moment to STFU. If that doesn’t shut you up, then the results of this research will.
A recent study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that men were more sexually attracted to women who were “responsive,” or good listeners.
It's another reason why you shouldn’t keep your iPhone out on the table (you know who you are!).
According to the researchers, “Responsiveness may signal to a potential partner that one is concerned with her or his welfare, and may therefore increase sexual interest in this person.”
Basically, by listening to your partner, you’re showing him or her you care and giving personal attention. Who doesn’t love to be heard?
Dr. Gurit Birnbaum, one of the authors of the study, told Time that “responsiveness” could also indicate whom would be viewed as long-term partners vs. short-term hookups.
“A responsive partner may be perceived as a warm and caring and therefore a desirable long-term partner,” she said.
Think about it: No one likes the person at the party who aggressively manages to corner you and go on and on about his latest vacation.
In another part of the study, responsiveness increased a man’s perception of his partner’s femininity.
This, in turn, was associated with increased sexual arousal, which was then linked to greater partner attractiveness and a greater desire for a long-term relationship. So ladies, the next time you want to seal the deal, the best communication may be to make none at all.
Listening, moreover, means that this person is genuinely interested in you and appreciates your thoughts as much as his or her own.
Nothing is more flattering than someone who takes the time to really hear and acknowledge what you’re saying. It’s the ultimate sign of respect.
It’s interesting to note, however, that while men found women who listen to be more sexy, the same was not true in reverse. Unsurprisingly, women had mixed reactions to more attentive men.
Some women reported responsiveness as desirable, while others believed it was a trick to seduce them. A third group thought that good listeners were too nice and “un-masculine” and therefore, unattractive. Women, we sure are complicated.
Overall, though, as my friends like to tell me while the season finale of “Mad Men” is on, it’s best to STFU and listen.
H/T: NY Mag, Photo Courtesy: We Heart It