Lies Guys Tell Girls All The Time

12% of adults admit to telling lies everyday, but I guarantee that number is a lot higher, because well, people lie. This is also true when it comes to the amount of lies men tell women.

Whether it be to hide the guilty truth or just to give off a more honorable impression, there is a series of lies that men tell women that always have a hidden meaning or alternate motive. While some girls are still being fooled by these age old lies every day, most of us have in fact caught on to a lot of these tricks and discovered the true intentions behind them.

Now lying is not just limited to men. Women lie too, and in my experience, more often. It’s just funny, as a woman, to hear some of these little white lies on a daily basis. It’s even funnier to call your guy out on said lies, and watch them respond with: “I don’t know why you always think I’m lying!”

“I can’t even tell you don’t have makeup on.”

If you’re a natural beauty and don’t need a stitch of makeup to look good, (in which case, congratulations, I am automatically green with envy) it’s still pretty obvious when a female is wearing even the slightest bit of mascara. I’m not sure if men are honestly oblivious to these minute details, which actually sounds pretty plausible, or if they feel that telling you that you look like you’re not wearing makeup at all is the pick-up line of the century.

Most women I know wear a significant amount of makeup. Not Jersey Shore inspired makeup, (which by the way… no) but enough to at least tell it's there. Men: try a different approach. Try telling us that we did an excellent job at applying our makeup that morning. To me, that’s a better compliment. Or I’ll just think you’re gay.

“I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”

I’ll tell you exactly what this means. This means that that guy isn’t looking for a relationship with you. To be honest, the only people who are earnestly pursuing a relationship with whoever they meet are completely creepy. No one is ever looking for a relationship, it just happens. You either like that person you just met and don’t want them to be with anyone but you (because that’s what relationships essentially are, a product of selfishness) or you don’t.

It’s just so much easier to tell a woman that you’re not looking for a relationship, rather than just telling her you don’t like her, because women are crazy and extremely gullible.

“I’m not just into sex.”

Lie. Of course men are just into the sex. Yes, sometimes guys may actually start to develop feelings for you, maybe, after a while, maybe, but in reality; they’re just into the sex. This is just another way to convince naive women to give men what they want. And what they want is sex.

“I love that outfit.”

I guess this lie only pertains to fashion forward females. If you are a fashion forward, trend-conscious female you’ve most definitely been told this lie. Men are confused by trends. The only outfits they want to see on you are outfits that they can easily take off.

Your creased trousers and jacquard blazer are confusing to them. They think: “Hey, you’re dressed like a gay boy, this doesn’t make sense.” Men hate most of the trends that women love but are (hopefully) raised to be polite, and will therefore tell you that they love what you’re wearing.

This lie isn’t really relevant to women’s feelings though. We know you hate what we’re wearing, but we simply don’t care. Women get dressed for themselves and to impress other women. Not men.

“Yes, I’d love to go to your family’s for dinner.”

Women are the only people who look forward to meeting their significant other’s families. Women have fantasies of becoming best friends with your mother and having your dad congratulate you on a job well done.

Women look forward to holidays and Sunday Dinners and meeting your extended family. Men don’t. Men hope and pray to never have to meet your family, especially your father. I don’t care how cool your family is, your guy is uninterested.

No guy wants to walk into your father’s home and shake his hand, because all he will be thinking about is “Oh shit, do you think he can tell I have sex with his daughter by just looking at me?” Unfortunately for men, this is a step that must happen if you’re ever planning on having a relationship longer than three months with a woman.

Ally | Elite. 

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