Hey again.
I'll be honest: There is a part of me that wants to hate you for ghosting me, reducing me to nothing and proving you thought I wasn't worthy of even a measly "goodbye" text.
That same part of me wants you to feel the pain and frustration you caused me by leading me to believe there was any hope of a future for us. If I allowed that part of me to takeover, I would call you a coward and a big fat phony for wasting months of my beautiful life and not having the guts to tell me you did not want to see me anymore.
But the rest of me, the part of me that will triumph and make me a far better person than you, wants to thank you and wish you well.
Thank you for allowing your true colors to shine through.
Thank you for showing me simultaneously what I want and absolutely do not want in a man.
Thank you for proving that people are not always who they portray themselves to be.
Thank you for making it painfully clear that I need to have more respect for myself.
Thank you for giving me a much-needed reality check.
But most of all, thank you for reminding me how amazing I am and for making me realize I deserve someone equally as amazing.
I will not pretend you are a horrible person because I know you are not. I do, however, wish you were because this would not be so hard, and I would not care so much about losing you.
All of your great qualities were what attracted me to you, but they are also what blinded me from all of your…not so great qualities.
The truth is, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I held you up on a pedestal and worshipped the ground you walked on. But I was a fool to think I did not deserve to have you do the same for me, so thank you for making me re-evaluate the standards to which I hold myself. They are much higher now.
The pain you have caused me is temporary, and soon I will fully accept that I was nothing to you. Losing you will not hurt me in the long run; it will only make me a stronger and more sympathetic person because, in reality, I did not lose you -- you lost me. You lost someone who cared deeply about you, who would have given everything to see you happy and successful. Because of that, I actually feel sorry for you.
There's that part of me again that hopes you regret it and end up miserable, but the rest of me wants to wish you well. I do hope you find someone who can accept your self-absorbed way of life and still love you the way I tried to. I hope you do much better by her than you did me, and I hope she brings you all the happiness in the world. I truly mean that because you deserve to be happy and loved. I am sorry you did not think I could give you that.
Most of all, I hope someday you realize what potential you have to be a phenomenal person.
I am sorry you could not appreciate all I have to offer, and I am sorry you will not get to experience how amazing it is to journey through this crazy adventure of life with me.
I would have sent this to you directly but… I deleted your number when you ghosted me.
All the best,
The One You Never Deserved
