Are you the last person your friends talk about their latest date, crush, argument or breakup with? If you are, it's either because you have little to no empathy, or you're jaded.
Sure, you might sympathize and make the correct clucking sounds for a night, giving your friend a least a little bit of time before sinking your teeth in, but you are definitely not willing to listen to her go on for hours about whether or not your friend's ex wants to get back together. It's over, right? And you saw it coming.
People wonder why your outlook is so pessimistic. And it's because you see doom and gloom in every unanswered text, every inexplicable absence. Sure, maybe his work mate is having his bachelor party out of town, but why did he have to go when he isn't even the best man? Something must be afoot, and they're obviously in cahoots.
Oh, he couldn't show up for your work thing? It's probably because he has someone on the side. And you aren't afraid to tell your bestie. It's your duty to tell them the truth, right?
Although your friends may hate the things you have to say, you love it when you're right because if you're smart, you can call a failed relationship from a mile away.
So, the next time the girls are telling you not to rain on their parades, remind them that you're jaded because you've seen it all before, and it's important to have that one, battle-scarred buddy. Here's why:
1. You slice through bullsh*t like a hot knife through butter.
When it comes to breakups and heartache, you've heard it all before. Whether in real life or from the horse's mouth, there isn't a lot a person can slide by your keen attention to f*ckery.
If something/someone sounds too good to be true, you quickly point out that fact. Even if your friend doesn't listen to you (and you get to say "I told you so" later), you still give them the chance to make an informed decision on whether this guy who's crashing on his friend's couch, but "is getting his own place really soon" is worth the time.
2. Your friends know you'll tell them the cold, hard truth.
This is partly because you've set a rather jaded, bitter precedent, so your friends know you won't filter your thoughts, and partly because you're not the biggest fan of sugarcoating. Who has the time?
3. You actually know what love means.
You know what everyone is doing so very wrong when it comes to love, which is why you're so disillusioned. You know love is hard work and sacrifice, interspersed with butterflies, and you can tell when people are leaning too heavily on either side.
Honeymoons don't last forever, but thank god, neither do the arguments. Or they shouldn't, at least. You know what to do if they do.
4. You know real love will be worth it.
When you meet someone who actually takes away your resting bitch face and bitterness for love, you'll know it's the real deal. Meeting someone who can take you out of your constantly jaded state can be a beautiful thing. If he passes all the firewalls you've managed to build up and make you want to love again, who could say no?
So, maybe you're not walking around with rose-colored glasses. And maybe you take the Facebook stalking thing a little too far (especially if they don't have any social media presence whatsoever, which means they must be a serial killer. Not even one Facebook photo? Nothing? Who is this guy??), but it's all in the interest of protecting yourself and the hearts of your friends.
Caution is a good thing, even if it's not the most romantic of scenarios. Love is great, but it isn't the most important thing on the table, is it? I guess that's a discussion for another article.