Here's What To Do When You Know Your BFF Is Cheating
There's nothing worse than seeing your best friend go down a tunnel of immoral activity.
You want to do something about it, but you may not know how, and you want to support them no matter what.
When someone goes about confirming their infidelity, they do so with a heavy heart. So before you deal with your best friend and their cheating, you need to make sure you aren't caught in the middle of things.
Here's what you should do in the event you catch wind of your best friend cheating:
Stay ignorant… for now.
Any helpful best friend would want to insert themselves into the situation immediately to try to help resolve it.
But in this case, that's the worst thing you could possibly do. Doing so will only make highly charged emotions even more charged. So if you have an idea your best friend is cheating, the best thing you can do is to stay quiet and observe.
If they feel like they want to open up to you, they will. Plus, getting involved where you're not wanted could get you into a bigger mess.
Don't reveal what you know to the person being cheated on unless you have to.
Some people believe they have a moral obligation to the other party — that it might be painful to tell them, but they have a right to know.
While that may be true, it's not your place to reveal that information. Technically, you're an outsider, and you have nothing to do with the situation.
Sometimes, you may open up about what you know, but you suffer more backlash in return. In the mind of the hurt party, you're part of what ruined their happiness. So unless you can cope with some of the blame being transferred onto you, stay quiet.
Listen to your best friend, and try not to be judgmental.
As a best friend, you know that person trusts you. You've spent a long time building up that trust, and you don't want to ruin it.
The best thing you can do is listen to your friend if they want to tell you something. It won't be pleasant, and you probably won't enjoy it, but it's a necessary conversation you have to have at some point.
But beware of becoming judgmental. Everyone has an opinion, and you'll likely want to give your friend yours. However, giving your opinion if you aren't asked could get you in a lot of trouble with your friend.
Sometimes, you need to be able to take a step back and let things unfold naturally.
The best thing you can do is listen to your friend if they want to tell you something.
Plus, your best friend likely doesn't want you to give your opinion. They just want someone to listen to them. If they ask for your views, give them, but don't make a move until that time.
Don't involve yourself more than you have to.
What you do with whatever information your best friend tells you depends on how involved you want to be.
By getting involved, you run the risk of experiencing some of the backlash, even more so if you know the person your best friend is cheating on.
For most people, the ideal option is not to involve yourself at all. Provide some advice confidentially when asked, but request that your name is never mentioned. You can help your friend, but don't actively insert yourself if you don't have to.
Taking a Step Back and Taking a Step Forward
You might be disappointed in your friend, and you might even be really angry with them. But that might conflict with your urge to support them and make sure that they get through this.
But the bottom line is, you're stuck, and you need to make the right decision. So your answer is to step back and then step forward.
Take a step back and acknowledge the situation for what it is. Then, coach your friend on how to extract themselves from it.
This is emotionally exhausting, however, and you need to ensure you're not damaging your own life because of it.
When everything is said and done, you can be the comforting arm around their shoulder.
For some people, the best option is to take a break from the friendship entirely and step forward again later when things have calmed down.
Of course, that doesn't mean you should have a big argument or cut all contact with your friend. It simply means you shouldn't rush to your friend's aid at every given moment. Let them resolve the situation.
Then, when everything is said and done, you can be the comforting arm around their shoulder.
There's no doubt it's difficult to manage situations like this, but you need to go in with a clear head and decide how involved you want to be.