"When you know, you just know" was my all time most hated phrase. It ranked right up there with "YOLO" and "there are no mistakes before 30."
News flash: There are a hundred, and I've made 97 of them.
"When you know, you just know" sounded absurd to me. How could anyone possibly know with 100 percent certainty that the person he or she is dating is the person he or she should spend the rest of his or her life with?
I grew up going to church, and my pastor had been married three times. A man who talked to God on a daily basis had gotten it wrong at least twice, so how can I be an expert? Literally every relationship you had before you propose was wrong, so how do you know this is the right one.
The most honest answer is -- you just know. It's not that one day you wake up, look over and go "Yup, she's the one." Tons of things will have continually cemented your faith in this person. She has showed you countless signs that she is the one, and you've just finally realized it.
She knew she was the one; it just took you a while to wake up.
If you're dating the girl you think is the one, these four signs are dead giveaways!
1. She doesn't need you.
For any relationship to be a partnership, this is huge. Times are different. The world is different, and a woman relying solely on her husband is just not healthy.
When your girlfriend has her own life, career and friends, this isn't something to fear, but something to embrace. This is a self-sufficient person choosing you out of all the people on Earth. She doesn't need you for anything but love. There is no better feeling than being in a relationship in which both parties contribute to make each other's lives together happier.
And just from a numbers standpoint -- money issues are the third-leading cause of divorce in America. I grew up in a house where daily fighting took place over money. There's no way for certain to know if my parents would still be together if they were both financially self-sufficient, but it would've made the odds way better.
2. She doesn't have secret guy friends.
Fellas, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Have you ever been dating a girl, and six months in, she starts telling you about her amazing guy friend who you've never heard her mention before? Red flag all day.
Girls like to play a game called "it's cool for me to do but not for you." A girl will check your Instagram and ask you who this is or who that is and show small signs of jealousy, but as soon as you do it, there's a huge problem.
The woman you think is the one you're suppose to marry does the exact opposite. You've met her guy friends. You've been introduced as the person she's seeing, and boundaries have been established. There's no guessing game.
If a woman wants you, she will let it be known, and you better do the same.
3. You two can communicate.
To me, this is the most important thing. I don't care if she is hotter than Janelle Monae, if you guys can't talk to each other when things are rough, it will never work.
In my past relationships, if we had a fight or an argument, I thought that meant we were done. I grew up in a house where when my mom had a fight with a guy, 24 hours later, he was gone.
I truly thought once you fight, the relationship is over. I loved my girlfriend, and I would get scared when we fought. She never understood what I was thinking because I never shared, and instead of giving up on me or just saying whatever, she legitimately helped me grow in how I personally handle arguments.
The most important thing to me is the comfort and safety we share when it comes to communication in our relationship.
4. How do you treat her?
The most full-proof sign that you want to marry your girlfriend is how you treat her. Actions speak louder than words, so what do you do for her?
Are you there to listen when she has a rough day? Do you two do things together frequently or as often as you can? Do you ever catch yourself looking at her thinking, "Man, I'm lucky"?
If the answer is "hell yeah," then what are you waiting for? Put a ring on it!