8 Ways To Be The Kind Of Person You'd Want To Date

by Sonya Matejko

So, you’re finding yourself amidst the chaos that we fondly call heartbreak. You can be blissfully happy one moment, but when the wrong song comes on the radio, you’re suddenly on the brink of tears.

You tell yourself you’re getting better and then crumble when something sparks a certain memory. They call it heartbreak because, quite simply, it breaks you.

But, don’t allow yourself to stay broken for long. You want to love again, right? More importantly, you want to love the right one, don’t you?

Well, think about it: Do you like who you are while you’re nose-diving into Ben and Jerry’s and taking one too many shots to numb the pain? Ask yourself, would you date you?

If you wouldn’t date you, why would Mr. Right? If you don’t love yourself, why would someone else? So, get up, get going and go take on the world.

Be the person any guy would be lucky to date and the one who will make “the one” rejoice in the blessing for meeting someone as vivacious and full of life as you are. Here are eight ways to do it:

1. Stop Wallowing

Why are you crying? You’re sad. Okay, so just stop being sad. Sure, it’s easier said than done, but what are you doing that is making you so sad? Are you sitting by yourself? Call a friend. Go on a walk.

Do anything besides being sedentary. Are you listening to songs that remind you of your ex? Stop it. Seriously, why put yourself through the torture? Are you revisiting memories each time you pass a certain restaurant or store?

No more. Think about the memory you are currently creating rather than the ones that already exist. If your ex isn’t crying over you at this very moment, you shouldn’t be wasting the tissues, either. 

2. Reinvent Yourself

What’s the best revenge? Looking better than you ever have, obviously. So, get in the best shape of your life. Since you now have so much free time, there’s no better way to spend it than by making yourself feel better.

This may start as retaliation, but you’ll quickly notice how much happier it’ll make you feel. Not only will you quite possibly get addicted to the hot yoga classes for which you willingly wake at 6 am, but you’ll also get addicted to the way they make you feel.

Keep wearing those crop tops because when people start noticing your new physique, you’ll feel strong and in control. The outside is easy to change, and the inside isn’t far behind.

3. Primp And Pamper

Have you been staring at that Groupon to get your hair done for weeks? Buy it. Don’t waste your time on a trim. Do something distinctive in its place. Get a new cut or go wild and get a new color.

That self-assured hair flip may be just what you’re missing to attract your future fella. Next, go on an adventure at Sephora. Get that bright shade of lipstick you’ve been hesitant to wear.

Buy those heels you’ve been eyeing through the window. Get everything that will lead you to look in the mirror with poise and know you’ll kick ass that day.

4. Revel In Success   

Start by doing your job and doing it well. Don’t idle just because your life isn’t perfect anymore (it obviously wasn’t when you were in the relationship, either; if it was, you would still be together).

Keep doing what you do, but now, do it better. Focus on the dream you’ve been dallying on because you were previously too centered on the other person.

Accomplishing one of your goals will remind you that you’re more than capable of prosperity. Getting acknowledged for something will give you that push you need to keep you craving more victories. Do it for yourself, not for anyone else.

5. Set Your Emotions Free

You’d be surprised by how therapeutic it can be to write out your feelings. This is the time you can spend venting. By putting your emotions on paper, you’re releasing them into the world.

Little by little, the memory of the pain that will live on the pages will exist only as a reminder that you deserve better. Take this time to let it sink in.

Ignoring it can be good for a while, but you also need to allow the change into your life so that you can thrive from it. Write or start a blog for yourself. The point is to liberate the burden that lies too heavy on your heart. You need that room available so you can eventually fall in love again.

6. Become A Wanderlust

Take a look at where all of your fancy friends are now living and book a flight there. Even grab a friend and make him or her go with you on an adventure to somewhere neither of you has ever been.

If you’re feeling really audacious, travel alone. Go see the world and remind yourself that there is so much more out there than one sh*tty person from your past. Make new memories to replace the old ones.

Go experience things you otherwise wouldn’t have. Drink in the beauty that the world has to offer and get drunk from it. Play with tigers in Asia. Dance in Barcelona.

See New York from a rooftop. Ride a bike down the beach in Santa Monica. Go on a travel site immediately and just pick somewhere. If anything, at least you’re getting away from reality.

7. Document Happiness

Start recognizing the good things in your life. At the beginning and end of each day, think about something for which you’re grateful. Think about something that made you smile.

Eventually, you’ll surprise yourself and you won’t be able to narrow down the list to just one thing. Go a step further and take pictures of what brings you joy so you can have a visual reminder (with the perfect filter, of course).

Ultimately, you will start realizing how many things there are about which you can and should be happy.

8. Hold Yourself In High Regard

Learn to love and respect yourself. Make sure your actions represent who you are as a person. Make sure the words you speak benefit those around you and come from a worthy place.

Be your best self. Embrace your quirkiness and accept your mistakes. Be proud of whom you have grown up to be. Don’t put yourself down and don’t weigh yourself with regrets.

Reflect on how far you’ve come and then venture even further. Always put yourself in the best light; even when you feel like hiding in the dark, you must shine on.

Soon, you won’t be looking for things to make you happy because happiness will simply surround you. Soon, you’ll exude enough confidence to bring sparkle to every room you enter.

Soon, you will become someone’s Mrs. Right. Then, before you know it, Mr. Right will be right around the corner, ready to sweep you off of your happy, well-traveled feet.

Mend your own heart, so someone can come and take care of it for the rest of your wondrous days. Become the other half for which your special person is waiting and then let fate take care of the rest.

Photo Courtesy: Tumblr