You've been here before. You're falling for this awesome dude, and it's so exciting.
He's funny; he's hot; he has a d*ck that meets your standards. All that's missing is how exactly you're going to f*ck this one up.
You know how to play it cool, but you also know that once those feelings hit, you can be one crazy b*tch. (Welcome to being a girl.)
You've played this game many times, and you know this time, for once, you just must chill the f*ck out. You will have this one. He is yours.
With summer in full swing and cuffing season officially over, plenty of new singles are being thrown into the mix, and it's more important than ever to work on your chillaxed, “I'm not like most girls, I'm a cool girl” image.
This is your time to shine.
Here are some things you simply must do in order to play it way cool for this new guy in your life:
1. Don't lose your f*ckng cool
You're a cool chick, right? You know this and your friends know this; now let this new dude see it as well.
The first step to keeping your cool in your new relationship is to not lose your f*cking cool. Think before you speak and before you do, and keep the crazy boxed up under lock and key, where it should stay.
2. Learn from your past mistakes
You've f*cked up plenty of times before; f*cking up is a part of life, and you've taken plenty of advantage of this fact.
But the best part about having completely destroyed all of your past relationships, both serious and casual, is you get to learn from your mistakes.
Oh, being an absolute crazy b*tch is a turnoff? Noted!
Be sure not to make those same mistakes this time around, whatever they may have been.
3. Stop dwelling on the past
Yea, that other dude treated you like sh*t, but guess what? This guy is different.
You must leave your prior relationship baggage and hang ups at the door before entering this brand new relationship. It's a clean slate.
4. Take it slow
“What are we?” asked every single insane girl who ever lived.
This question has surely become synonymous with ladies in desperate search of a committed relationship.
Of course it's okay to want to know what the other person is thinking, but there is bliss to be found in taking things slowly and indulging in every second of that thrilling, terrifying slowness.
5. Don't freak out because he's not texting you back
Maybe he really is just in the shower.
So before you curse him out, break up with him and then beg for his forgiveness, take a chill pill for a bit and wait this one out, wacko.
6. Do not talk about being crazy
I don't think I'm a particularly crazy b*tch, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't had my moments. I mean, who hasn't?
But, for f*cks sake, please don't tell this new guy about all the other times you were crazy to other dudes.
It's not cute and quirky; it's f*cking terrifying and he will probably (understandably) run away from your (slightly) psycho ass.
7. Stop talking about all the sex you've had
Sure, past sexual experiences have shaped your current sex life, and are the reason you now know what you like and don't like, but there are ways to relay this information to your new partner without essentially saying, “I was kind of a slut.”
Nobody wants to picture his boo-thang doing the dirty with a bunch of other people.
8. Don't cry to him over your past relationships
Stop constantly talking about your exes. Just stop.
Nothing is more annoying, not to mention disrespectful, than crying to the person you are currently with over your ex.
9. Accept and love yourself
…and the fact that someone can like you just as you are.
Sometimes this is easier said than done, but there are few greater turnoffs than an overly emotional, self-loathing wreck of a woman.
10. Don't be mean
Everyone knows you can be a huge b*tch, but maybe for once in your life, try to be nice. Be nice because you care, and you want your significant other to know you're mindful of his happiness.
So maybe, before going on that drunken, 15-text-long, raging rant, take a deep breath, put down your phone and calmly talk it out in the morning.
Stop being so damn dramatic and picking fights; it will undoubtedly tear apart your relationship.
11. Be a loyal hoe
Here's a life tip: Never let a Chris Brown song be your anthem.
This should go without saying, but I'll go ahead and say it: Don't f*cking cheat, obviously.
12. Don't be needy and obsessive
Remember, you don't need this person in your life; you're just glad he is in it.
You, as an individual, can function on your own; your partner enhances your life, but is not your whole life.
13. Give your drunken alter ego a few days off
You can be one hot mess, but maybe this guy does not need to know this just yet.
Getting blackout drunk, starting a fight at the bar and then crying as you puke in his friend's car probably isn't the best way to spend your third date.
14. Don't take him for granted
Never take anything for granted, especially people. People can come and go; give this guy a reason to stay.
15. Let yourself be happy
…and love every second of it. Stop second-guessing and questioning everything. Stop being bitter and worried and reluctant.
No need to pinch yourself; a relationship can actually be this successful and great. What a time to be alive!