While I'm not entirely certain I believe in the idea of soulmates, I do believe that some couples are better together than others.
Whether you go well together because of some ethereal bond or because your edges complement each other like two puzzle pieces doesn't matter. You don't need an explanation for why you love each other. You simply need to keep loving each other.
It's when you're unsure of how you feel and unsure of how your partner feels that you want to understand if you're meant to be or if you're simply imagining it.
It sucks, but the truth is two awesome people may not be awesome for each other. Sometimes you're not for him, and sometimes he's not for you. Other times, you're just paranoid and letting your imagination and fear get the better of you.
So which is it? Are you two meant to be together or not? Here's how to tell that you're not the one for him.
1. He doesn't fully trust you.
Trust is the foundation of every healthy and happy relationship. There are no exceptions to this rule. If the person you're with doesn't trust you, then the two of you will never make it work.
Have you ever really thought about why we partner up in life? Surely, there are many ways to live life other than searching for someone to spend your life with.
We partner up because we need to partner up. We need support and stability as well as human interaction in our lives. These aren't things we want; they're things we need in order to enjoy our lives.
The bond that forms once a deep level of trust is created is truly an incredible thing. In a world where just about everybody is willing to take advantage of you if the right opportunity presents itself, having someone you truly trust makes all the difference.
2. He doesn't go to you with his problems.
Trust is one thing. Admiration is another. We're meant to find lovers that we not only trust and appreciate, but also admire -- someone we can look toward for advice and solace.
If your man doesn't come to you with his problems, then he doesn't see you as his support. And being each other's support system is the whole reason why human beings partner up in the first place.
Just like developing trust, developing this level of support takes time. You have to get to know each other on a deep enough level. You admire the person you love not because you love them, but for the reasons that you love them.
Real love is basically intense admiration. If he doesn't admire you now, it doesn't necessarily mean he never will. But until he does, things won't feel entirely right. You'll know that something is missing.
3. You don't feel loved.
While this may not seem like it has much to do with him and more to do with you, when two people are right for each other, they tend to love each other the way that the other person needs to be loved.
Of course, this isn't always entirely instinctive -- it often takes some time, learning and compromise to show your love the way the person you love feels they need to be loved.
If your man doesn't love you the way you want to be loved, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're not right for each other. However, if he isn't doing his best to figure out how to love you better, then that's exactly what it means.
Relationships are never, ever perfect. The effort we're willing to put into them decides how much love we're able to pull out of them.
4. Your relationship is either passionless or filled with too much passion.
Passion is an amazing thing. It's the energy that seems to only exist the moment you two touch.
However, everything has its limits. Too much of even the most amazing things can become destructive. Too much energy and the relationship can explode.
Passion never travels alone. It's always accompanied by at least one if its companions: jealousy, fear, sadness, and/or anger. Passion moves us; how it moves us, however, differs.
Often, passion takes us to places where we don't want to be and makes us into people we don't want to be. Passion can be destructive. But at the same time, it's necessary to sustain a romantic relationship.
5. He doesn't make you feel safe and secure.
At the end of the day, what we're all looking for in a partner boils down to safety and security.
Does he make you feel like your home, no matter where the two of you are? Do you make him feel that way? What we need to understand is that a lot of the things that make us feel safe are tied to our upbringing. It's when we're youngest that we learn about the world, about what can harm us and what can save us. As we get older, these lessons become more deeply engrained in our psyche.
In other words, it's not your fault if you don't feel safe in each other's arms. It's not his fault either. We all need people in our life that make us feel at home -- and that idea of home always triggers a sort of nostalgia.
That's why so often you hear lovers say that they feel like they've known each other for a lifetime, or perhaps even from a previous lifetime. If the two of you have been with each other for years and you don't feel just right with each other, then chances are that you're wrong for each other.
So don't blame yourself. Don't try to force things. Some people just make better friends than soulmates.