9 inches may be a good size, but size doesn't matter.

9 Women Weighed In On Whether Penis Size Really Matters

No, penis size doesn’t matter — at least not in terms of desirability or function.

by Bobby Box
Jerome Tisne/The Image Bank/Getty Images

Thanks to the unrealistic expectations set by online pornography, you’ve probably have heard the clichéd myth that “size matters.” You may have wondered whether 9 inches is a good size, or how small is too small for a woman. The truth is, the size of one’s genitalia is not the key determiner of their ability to have mutually satisfying sex with a partner(s). In fact, if people were to get real about whether penis size actually equates to pleasure, I’m willing to bet they would find there were a series of factors that led to the overall quality of their sexual encounter. So, I did just that — I asked nine women about their best sexual experiences, and their answers truly go far and wide to debunk the “size matters” folklore.

According to a 2006 study conducted by the American Psychological Association of 52,031 heterosexual men and women, 85% of women surveyed shared that they were satisfied with their partner's penis size, while only 55% of men reported being satisfied with the size of their penis. Moreover, 45% of men reported wishing they had a larger penis, with only 0.2% wanting to be smaller. This disparity suggests size may only matter to those who possess penises because of an insecurity that’s been preconditioned by societal norms, not because of the responses or experiences of their sexual partners.

Here’s what nine women had to say about the correlation between size and satisfaction.

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Bigger is not better.

Honestly, I wouldn't be one to say size matters. [My boyfriend's penis] is the most beautiful penis I have ever seen. Truthfully. It wasn't small or too big to feel anything without some pain and it was overall a nice length and girth. Bigger is not better.

— Holly, 24

It’s all about the technique.

The best penis I ever had was attached to a man whose coital movements matched exactly what I needed to reach orgasm easily and delightfully. I don't recall who it was who said, 'It ain't what you got, it's how you use it,' but it surely applies here.

— Cynthia, 72

It also depends on the receiver.

Fortunately, my husband has the best penis I've ever had. You see, it also depends on the woman. That is important.

— Carol, 44

Loving the person you’re with makes a difference.

I don't know the exact size of my ex-husband's penis, but almost every encounter I had with him was painful. After we split up, I hooked up with my first love and the sex with him was always amazing. It was the perfect fit. He took me to places no one else ever has. It really is about loving the person you're with.

— Becky, 55

So does the length of the relationship.

The best sexual experience was because we just knew what the other liked after years and years of a successful sexual relationship.

— Sarah, 27

Clitoral stimulation is key.

I can assure you the biggest penis I have encountered during sex did not translate to the best sex I've ever had. I find it very difficult to actually have a vaginal orgasm and often climax because of my clitoris. The combination of clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration definitely results in the happiest ending.

— Deanna, 24

Knowing each others' bodies is just as important.

My husband’s penis is best because he's learned how to work the right way. All of the other people I've been with, I wasn’t with them long enough to really get to know their parts. As such, I didn't always have satisfying sex with them.

— Kat, 29

It’s more about skill than size.

The best sex I've ever had was with a guy who had lovemaking that skills took me over the edge. So much so, in fact, that we began a FWB relationship.

— Mandy, 32

Generosity means more than a generous size.

I don't know how he did it, but the guy with the best penis I’ve ever had could work his penis better than anyone else. He was generous, passionate and wanted to make sure that I'd achieve orgasm before him. It was wonderful.

— Stephanie, 40


Lever, J., Frederick, D. A., & Peplau, L. A. (2006). Does size matter? Mens and womens views on penis size across the lifespan. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 7(3), 129–143. doi: 10.1037/1524-9220.7.3.129

Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.