4 Ways To Keep Your Insecurities From Ruining Your New Relationship
So, you just met the guy or girl of your dreams. Congratulations!
Every waking moment, you want some sort of communication with this person. You text, call, FaceTime late at night and Snapchat every moment you can.
So, what is the issue? Insecurities. Everyone has them.
Here is how to get rid of these insecure feelings:
1. Be upfront, boo.
Every person I know has made the mistake of not speaking his or her mind. The real problem is, your significant other won't know what's going on unless you make it a point to be clear.
Remember: The keys to a successful relationship are communication, honesty and loyalty. It’s a lot easier said than done, but you feel great when you tell them what's really going on.
2. Don't play the bitter card.
I have made this mistake a million times.
You see a Snapchat of your significant other with his or her best friend, which kind of makes you nervous. All of a sudden, the spiteful feelings come out.
Do not even try to attempt the “two can play at this" game.
It’s never a good idea to try and level with your significant other, by going out of your way to try and make him or her jealous. It never works out. All it does is create distance in the relationship, and more insecurities on your part.
3. Keep active and busy.
Keeping busy will prevent those late-night thoughts of, “Will he feel the same way in a week? What if she finds someone better than me? Why is boo spending so much time with this friend?”
Keeping busy will create a healthier relationship. Remember, both parties need time to miss each other.
I know we all have that one friend who is with his or her significant other 24/7. It might work for them, but no two couples are alike.
Your relationship is unlike any other. It cannot be replicated, and you should be proud of that and own it.
What I’ve come to realize is you need space from your significant other. You need your own hobbies and your own time, in order to be your own damn person.
4. Overall transparency and happiness is key to making insecure thoughts disappear.
Last week, I had a talk with my boyfriend and honestly felt like the world's biggest idiot.
I belligerently cried my eyes out, and told him I had thoughts of breaking up with him because I felt I wasn’t good enough for him.
Silly, right? But in my mind, I thought it was the only thing I could do. He is an amazing human being who deserves the best in the world, and I kept feeding my insecure thoughts that I could not, for the life of me, give him what he deserved.
Of course, being the amazing guy he is, he reassured me I am nothing less than perfect.
Transparency is the key to a relationship.
I felt like an ass for crying my eyes out, but I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It made me feel even better, knowing he was understanding of my insecurities, and he would do anything and everything to reassure me I was the only one for him.
Granted, I will always have these insecure thoughts. My past has made me this way. But I am so grateful to have someone as patient, loving and understanding as him, who will work with me and continue to be by my side.
Overall, insecurities can be the death of any relationship. But it’s the individuals who put in the time and effort who overcome it all.