20 Things You Need To Know Before Falling In Love With A Melancholic
Of all the temperaments, melancholics can be the most difficult to love.
They get depressed a lot, and there will be moments when you never know what to say.
If you love this person, these will be dreaded moments.
A melancholic is sensitive, self-analytical, introspective and almost always serious.
This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your level of understanding.
Melancholics are never satisfied with superficial things. They are always analyzing the past and contemplating the future.
They love order, quality and quiet.
They approach relationships seriously and have long lists of things they want in their partners.
Such is the burden of a melancholic. It tests the very core of any relationship.
If you're truly in love with this kind of person, it's up to you to discover how his or her mind and moods work, so you can understand how to make it work.
My parents had this problem.
My dad had no real understanding of my mom's melancholic predilections. Ultimately, it's what ruined their marriage.
In order to understand melancholics, you need to see inside their minds.
1. They tend to be perfectionists.
Having high aspirations, it can be difficult to settle for anything less than ideal.
This is a burden for them, as it is exhausting to be fixated on what they deem ideal.
2. They prefer to work alone.
And because they have clear pictures of what is ideal, melancholics would rather do things on their own.
3. They are more comfortable with their own thoughts.
This makes them come off as distant, uninterested and even a little snobbish.
4. They are shy.
Melancholics are easily embarrassed, self-conscious, timid and bashful.
As a result, they will avoid being in front of a crowd.
5. They pay strong attention to details.
They are very observant, careful and deliberative.
6. They are slow in decision-making.
Because they observe and deliberate on every detail, they are very slow in making decisions.
7. They're overly cautious.
Because of their attention to detail, they can also be overcautious, even in minor matters.
8. They are frequently moody.
For melancholics, depression is a constant struggle.
Since they are either analyzing the past or meditating on the future, they tend to be detached and sad.
9. They obsess about possible misfortunes.
Also, due to a constant (and unhealthy) preoccupation with the future, melancholics try to cross bridges before getting to them.
10. They are secretive.
Because of their self-analytical tendencies, melancholics are often very shut in and hardly speak unless spoken to.
They believe others will be as critical of them as they are of themselves.
11. They are deliberative.
Since they are burdened with the need to analyze all possible outcomes, it can be difficult for them (and other parties involved) when a decision has to be made.
They could deliberate more than 10 times the normal length of time.
It requires patience and a great deal of understanding.
12. They take relationships (actually, everything) seriously.
There is a degree of sadness because they take life very seriously.
13. They daydream a lot.
Melancholics' incessant thinking arouses their sympathy.
14. They are prone to introspection.
Melancholics are never comfortable in crowds for too long, often secluding themselves after a while to reflect inward.
15. They often seem passive.
The inactivity they feel sometimes comes off as passivity.
The thing is, melancholics need time to digest information and let it sink in.
Their excitement builds slowly as they ponder more on the event, and when it reaches its peak, that excitement is almost everlasting.
16. They feel misunderstood.
Because of their many peculiarities, melancholics are often misjudged and treated wrongly.
This causes them to coil into their shells, since they believe it is impossible for anyone to really understand them.
17. They are fearful.
On account of an obsession with perfection, they live in fear of what might go wrong, even when everything is going well.
18. They can be awkward.
This is especially true when they need to unburden themselves.
19. They are extremely modest.
Melancholic never seek recognition or praise.
They keep very low profiles and would rather remain in the shadows.
20. They are romantics.
Melancholics secretly long for ideal love. This can make for very beautiful, intensely romantic relationships.
Generally, melancholics find it difficult to make a move, let alone make the first move.
But, they have a lot of incredible ideals and qualities to bring to relationships.
All you need is to understand and support them. This is where patience, empathy and love comes in.