Why It's Human Nature To Lose Our Sense Of Reality When We Fall In Love
There is no simple way to articulate what being in love feels like: It’s paradoxically everything and nothing, omnipresent and ephemeral, exhilarating and draining. And as anyone who has ever felt its seductive pull can attest, love is like a drug — and an incredibly powerful one at that.
For many of us, the act of falling deeply in love requires a kind of disassociation from our normal, cynical selves. There’s an element of fantasy that enables us to open ourselves to love — and also potentially to hurt and sadness. Surrendering to it is what saves us from living a life alone.
And that's what makes love so intoxicating: You know it can distort your sense of reality, but you're open to it anyway. Here are a few of the countless reasons why that is perfectly normal.
Because you fantasize about what it could become.
When you meet someone who genuinely ignites something inside of you, it’s impossible not to envision your future together.
This all-consuming lust leaves you in a dreamland. You're bound to lose your sense of the present when all you can think about is that special someone and the names of your three perfect offspring.
You project what you want to happen instead of seeing the world for what it is.
Because you want it to work so badly that you ignore all the red flags.
We humans are exceptionally good at being hopeful.
When we really fall hard for someone, we become blind to his flaws (and to most everything else). What a rational person would immediately recognize as an insurmountable obstacle, someone in love sees as a mere blip on the radar.
We're so overwhelmed by the possibility that this could be IT that we forget to look for the warning signs. Our hearts tell us to set aside our skepticism — and we listen.
Because love songs were written for you.
When you're enamored with someone, all of those corny love songs begin to make sense. You're suddenly making playlists with cheesy titles like "So In Love" or "Feelings."
And you don't care who knows it!
You listen to these famous ballads and think that they really were written about you and your relationship. It's like the artist is speaking directly to your soul. It's as if someone knew what you were feeling and had no choice but to put notes and words on a page to spare you the hassle.
Because you get so caught up in loving the other person that you sometimes forget to love yourself.
It's predetermined that love will eventually overpower us.
What’s tricky is maintaining a sense of balance. We become so infatuated with the other person that we forget about our most significant relationship: the one with ourselves.
Losing yourself in another person is easy and takes practice and self-awareness to avoid. If you’re reckless, that love could swallow you whole.
Because the excitement of it all overpowers our senses.
When you're in love, everything becomes heightened: Colors are brighter, sounds louder and memories more vivid.
You start to see the world through rose-colored glasses, as love permeates every facet of your life, leaving nothing untouched. It's equal parts scary and exciting, but we’re drawn to love like moths to a flame.
Because love is the closest thing to magic that we experience.
In the end, love is a lot like magic. It makes you feel like you’re capable of anything, that no hurdle is too great to overcome. It washes away your anxieties with a wave of possibilities.
Love imbues us with our own version of superpowers. Yet as much as we’d like to think of ourselves as magicians who can control our feelings, we’re not. Try as we might, we are ultimately powerless in the face of love.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Falling in love is all a part of being human. Like love, magic is a drug. CLICK HERE to catch up now on The Magicians and see why millions have been hooked.