How To Not Feel Sad When Everyone On FB Is Engaged
So, all of your friends are getting engaged, while your relationship with Netflix is the longest commitment you've ever had.
It already sucks enough to get the texts and phone calls from friends (and your mom, reminding you she'd like to have grandkids before she dies) beaming about their love.
But then add logging on to Facebook to see your entire news feed hijacked by engagement ring shots and "She said Yes!" pics?!!
IT'S JUST TOO MUCH.
In fact, a new study looked into research from 14 countries (that's 35,000 participants in all), and found that comparing yourself to your Facebook friends is more likely to cause depression than comparing yourself to your friends IRL.
And this is true around the world.
Stalking people on Facebook and comparing their lives to yours causes an increase in what's called "rumination," or, in normal people terms, "overthinking." And that's what leads to depression.
So WTF are you supposed to do? Delete your entire Facebook account like some hipster wannabe?! That's got to be the only option here, right?! Wrong.
There's still a way for you to use Facebook in a healthy way that lets you avoid getting all depressed during engagement season. Here how:
Delete your exes.
The researchers in the study found that (shocker) people who were friends with their exes on Facebook were at a higher risk of being depressed.
I mean, c'mon, guys... DUH.
Looking at random people's engagement photos when you're single and alone is bad enough. Looking at your EX's engagement photos when you're single and alone is pretty much the worst-case scenario.
Even if your ex isn't engaged yet, DELETE HIM and avoid the chance of this happening altogether.
Remember, nobody is as happy as they look in their photos.
Something else that makes you susceptible to getting depressed via Facebook, according to the study? Making negative comparisons between yourself and the people you're stalking and allowing yourself to envy them.
Obviously, jealousy is a natural response. You can't necessarily help but feel jealous when you see someone who is NOT EVEN AS HOT AS YOU get engaged to a smokin' heart surgeon who makes hilarious statuses and is totally obsessed with her.
But there's a way for you to curb your jealousy that I'll share with you here: NOBODY'S LIFE ROCKS AS MUCH AS IT LOOKS LIKE IT DOES ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
Even that perfect heart surgeon and the girl who's not as hot as you have some pretty nasty fights behind closed doors.
Nobody's life rocks as much as it looks like it does on social media.
Stop using your FB status as a diary entry.
Another sign of people who were more likely to experience Facebook-related depression were people who frequently made "negative status updates."
If you need a journal, here's a tip: BUY ONE.
I get that these happy engagement pictures have you feeling sad and jealous, and you just want to check in and make sure you're not the only one who's feeling this way.
There are a million and one things you can do before you go bitching about your problems all over FB.
But posting sad/angry rants on the same platform that made you feel crappy in the first place probably isn't your best bet.
Write it down in a diary! Complain to a friend! Call your mom! Go to therapy! There are a million and one things you can do before you go bitching about your problems all over Facebook.
That being said, let me give you some friendly advice from an outsider's point of view: Even if you're not anywhere near engaged and you're life in general is a total and complete mess, you are still a totally wonderful and complete human being.
I know I sound like a cliche over here, but you really don't need a husband to be happy.
My mom is 60 years old, twice divorced, totally single and the HAPPIEST person I know. Take a page outta her book and LOVE YOURSELF, your whole self, flaws and all.
I promise you're worth it.