Dry Spells No More: How To Stop Sexual Droughts Before They Happen


Toothache at midnight, a toddler's temper tantrum and a dead-end occupation: All of these frustrations are unquestionably tough to put up with.

But, for most men, a sexual dry spell is even worse.

It's not just going without the sweet sensation of sex that's so painful.

It's the helplessness, the emasculation and the attempts to end the spell (and the associated dejection when it doesn't work).

Dry spells are common among those men who have no confidence or charisma, but they also occur in the lives of outgoing guys.

They can happen after heartbreaks, when you're working all hours or following any significant life event.

Most worrisome, the problem gets worse the more you focus on it. After a certain point, it can be pretty difficult to free yourself from a dry spell.

How are dry spells born?

Unless you're a celebrity or a male model, you'll always need confidence, competence and charisma to do well in the dating game. Self-assurance is one of the sexiest masculine traits around.

You need to feel like you deserve the girl you're flirting with.

It's the simplest thing in the world if you've always had women trying to get with you.

When you have a wealth of evidence you're attractive, it's easy to assume the next woman will want you, too. In fact, this attitude does half of the work for you.

But, what about when things don't go so well for a while? Say you suffer a couple of rough nights out. Maybe a load of mediocre women didn't want to speak to you or perhaps, your girlfriend dumped you.

It's natural for this to affect your confidence, which will in turn impact your overall attractiveness to the opposite sex.

A dry spell starts from the second you question yourself. The moment you wonder why it's been a while since your last sexual adventure, you're in for a rough ride.

The impact of a dry spell.

Attractiveness is all in the mind and a dry spell can have a dramatic impact on your self-perception. When you step up to that next hot woman, you want results a little too much.

You're not as relaxed. You're carrying that seed of doubt. Suddenly, you care what she thinks of you. You need her to be nice to you in order to feel desirable.

Well, women are socially savvy. They can sense this neediness. They can smell your insecurities.

She wants the masculine man who could have had any woman, but your behavior is far from what that masculine man would do. In fact, you're palpable attitude is a massive turnoff.

You're now displaying the traits of a dude who can't get any other girls. So, the women who would have gone home with you a few weeks ago are now blowing you off.

Why do dry spells spiral out of control?

Often, you're unaware of the reasons why you're being rejected. You'll wonder whether it's your haircut or the fact you're getting older.

This crisis in confidence can get worse and worse as more and more women turn you down.

If the dry spell lasts long enough, it's easy to forget what it was like to be successful with women. Eventually, you'll step up to girls, ready to defend the potential rejection.

You'll assume they're not interested in you after even the slightest lack of enthusiasm you receive.

If you somehow get her number, you'll text her too often. If she agrees to a date, you'll be too keen to seal the deal.

It can really spiral out of control if you let it. Ultimately, you could completely lose the courage to chat up women at all.

Remember, if you've ever managed to attract a woman, it was your attitude that won her over.

You probably felt entitled to that particular standard of woman at that particular point in your life.

This allowed you to relax and express yourself without having to supplicate to her.

Try and identify why you lost that entitlement, and realize there are a few justifiable reasons for doing so. You're still the same guy.

In the short-term, think about how you acted when you had hot girls in your life, and try to replicate that. Don't worry about the result. Just concentrate on becoming that attractive man again.

If you can't remember what it was like to have hot girls — or maybe you've never had hot girls — it might take more work.

Concentrate on creating a life that's really cool, regardless of the women who aren't in it.

Make some fantastic friends; have hobbies; pursue passions; become the best version of yourself. Create a reality a hot woman would want to be a part of.

Once that's sorted, you should become less concerned about the outcome when approaching a cute woman.

Hopefully, you'll realize you're freaking awesome either way. If she doesn't want to be part of your party, that's her loss.

Approach a girl with this attitude, and you'll find many of them will want to party with you.

From there, it shouldn't be long until there's a party in your pants once again.