Simone Becchetti

10 Things A Monogamous Couple Can Learn From Joining Tinder


My boyfriend and I share how we feel, discuss finances, have open conversations about sex, can appreciate the attraction we may have toward others and are comfortable with our commitment to each other. Weird for a Millennial couple, right? I guess you could call us unconventional.

In the spirit of our avant-garde approach to dating, we decided to both download Tinder while we were sitting on the couch one night.

Why? I don't know -- we were bored and we thought it would be fun. The interesting part was I didn't expect to learn so much.

So, here are some of the great realizations I had while using Tinder:

The Tinder dating pool sucks.

No offense to those on Tinder, but wow. Either it's been too long since I've been in the dating pool, or it's really slim pickings out there.

I don't say that to be rude, but if Tinder is meant for meeting people, did you really think sitting in a kiddie pool with a toy fishing pole and drinking sangria was going to make me like you? Come on guys, you can do better than that.

Our judgments were harsh, but hilarious.

We laughed way too much and yes, it was at other people's expense. Sometimes we would pick people who we deemed worthy for each other. Some we'd give the boot to right away. Others were just pure entertainment.

We couldn't help it. Some of these people were trying so hard and others were just so boring. It was like a game -- what type of person will pop up next? It's not my fault that all of you easily resemble people we know or celebrities.

If only you could play cupid via Tinder.

This was an even better game -- matching up people from my Tinder profile with people from his. We would randomly look through and make matches. We felt like little cupids on Valentine's day, only our people couldn't meet and fall in love. We made some really great couples though -- if only.

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I remembered the importance of attraction.

I think this is a great thing to remember. It reminds you that you should still want to impress and be attractive to your significant other.

Even after over a year, I still want him to look around a room and pick me as the one he wants to take home. That takes effort and when you live together, you can often forget to put in time for making yourself desirable. He loves me in my sweats, but he needs me when I'm in a sexy dress, you feel me?

I was reminded of why he chose me.

Seeing some of the girls he would swipe right for prompted me to question what was special about me. He generally had a type (he's always dated thin blondes) and when he was scrolling through, I noticed the majority he thought were pretty or interesting were mainly his previous type.

Upon this realization, you'd think this would make me feel as though he's not as into me, considering I am a busty brunette. But surprisingly, it didn't. It reminded me that I stood out to him more than his typical go-to girl. That I broke the mold and gave him something those who don't look like me couldn't.

Big breasts? Nah, it was probably my darling personality. Tough luck, ladies.

I realized how lucky I was to have him.

I know I mentioned that my options on Tinder were rough earlier, but there were plenty of attractive guys on there too. All a type I would usually go for. But like I did for him, he switched things up for me too.

I chose the sweet, endearing Midwest guy with ridiculous dance moves rather than the struggling hipster musician from LA. For that, I am truly grateful. So when I happened to stumble across his profile, naturally, I swiped right.

We were an approved match.

We actually found each other pretty quickly (really narrowing down those preferences helps). And when we matched up, we were delighted.

When he messaged me as though this was our first interaction, I felt excited. We were just sitting on the couch, my legs draped across his, sending each other GIFs in a Tinder chat. His responses always made me laugh and I found myself thinking I like this guy. It was almost as if we were beginning again, as if I hadn't known him at all.

It revved up our sex life.

Perhaps it felt like we had just met on Tinder or that we wanted to remind one another of our chemistry, but we had exceptional sex that night. A repeat of being somewhat strangers in a bar and going home together.

I'll spare you the dirty details, but I guess all that swiping just really got us in the mood. I get why they call it the hook up app.

I don't miss dating.

For those of you currently using Tinder, or any other dating apps for that matter, I give you mad props. It can be rough. Allowing others to judge you solely on a few pictures and a little blurb about yourself takes courage.

I know how judgmental I was and though it's not right and not kind, we are all guilty of it. I haven't spent much time using dating apps, but I can appreciate those that have and especially those who have had success on them.

Don't try this at home.

I don't recommend this for every couple. Like, seriously.

Some of you could break up doing this. It could easily spark a fight for those who have trust issues or become jealous easily. While it served as a fun experiment for us, it could backfire for others. It was harmless for one night, but having the constant temptation of it could cause problems.

It also should be mentioned that the next morning, we deleted the apps.