Love Isn't Blind, You Are: How You See You Is Not How I See You

by Dan Scotti

I bought my dad a new guitar the other week -- a Les Paul.

There wasn’t really a purpose for the gift. I sort of just felt like doing something for him -- and I knew a guitar would be something he’d appreciate.

As he picked it up to play it, I noticed a little plastic protector lying over the pickguard -- you know, to keep scratches off it, presumably.

Honestly, I assumed he would keep it on, being that he tends to get neurotic about scratches on surfaces -- but, on that day, he quickly peeled it off.

He explained to me how -- with all classic guitars -- the wear, the usage, is what gives them their character.

He didn’t want this guitar to appear perfect; he wanted it to feel right. And, for me, that concept resonated.

I realized people aren’t any different. Many are so concerned with appearing perfect or acting in a way that pleases the masses that they sacrifice realness to do so.

They’d rather appear “without flaws” than be their true selves and flaunt their own character instead.

With women, I’ve noticed this, as well. A lot of women I’ve dated have been self-conscious about aspects of their own being in fear that people would look at them differently if, God forbid, these “flaws” were noticed.

Frankly, I’ve always felt that these types of things are what make a woman one of a kind -- and impossible to duplicate.

You think you’re weird; I think you’re unique.

A woman’s idiosyncrasies don’t make her weird; they make her one of a kind.

At the end of the day, what’s a woman without quirks? When you’re spending quality time with a lady, those same quirks are what will make her stand out to you: the way she laughs, the way she eats, her vision on life.

They may not be similar to any other woman you’ve come across, and that’s for the best.

You should be dating a particular woman for the way she -- and only she -- makes you feel. If you’re comparing her to the standard of your ex-girls, or anyone else, you’ll only be doing yourself the disservice.

You think you’re opinionated; I think you’re strong-minded.

A lot women become self-conscious about sounding too opinionated -- they think it’s intimidating. Well, the fact of the matter is if a guy is intimidated by a woman who speaks her mind, chances are, he’s insecure about something, himself.

I love women who have no problem vocalizing their thoughts -- whether it be about their own wants, or needs or dislikes. The only way you can truly be on the same page as another person is by encouraging a healthy level of communication.

A women who’s unafraid to convey hers shows she’s strong-minded and not a follower.

You think you’re too emotional; I think you’re passionate.

You might think you care too much. You might think that a given situation “affects you too much,” but at the end of the day, you’re not overly emotional -- you’re just passionate.

Passion is supposed to consume you, and the things you’re passionate about should do the same. If you’re truly invested in a relationship, it’s all right to show signs of it.

I’ll never take a woman being “overly emotional” as a negative thing. In my opinion, that’s a quality to strive for -- especially when compared to the inverse, which would be apathy.

When you’re together with a passionate woman, you’ll at least have the comfort of knowing that if you experienced some turbulence, she’d be down to ride it out with you.

You think you’re nerdy; I think you’re focused.

Women today like to confuse being career-oriented with “nerdiness.” Believe me, if a woman I was together with put a lot of effort into her career, the last word I would be thinking would be “nerdy.”

Women who are focused about their careers and set goals for themselves, exemplify ambition -- and ambition will be always be sexy.

There’s nothing negative about hard work. If a woman becomes self-conscious about her own career drive, you -- as a man -- aren’t doing a successful job of supporting her.

You should encourage her focus, not detract from it.

You think you’re crazy; I think you’re crazy (but I love it *Weeknd voice*)

I mean, I’m not going to bullsh*t here -- we’re all f*cking crazy. The difference between how you view crazy and how I view crazy, however, is that I see nothing wrong with it.

Craziness, at the end of the day, is just eccentricity (by another name). If you’re not eccentric about life, you’re probably missing out on something.

People are supposed to be crazy. Life is supposed to be crazy. Love, too, is meant to be f*cking mad.

A little craziness in your own relationship will make that sh*t last -- it’s not something to try and avoid. Ultimately, boredom and stagnancy will kill your relationship a lot quicker than anything else ever could.

You think you’re flawed; I think you’re perfect.

You may think you’re flawed, but I think you’re perfect in your flaws. Nobody’s perfect. Spending days running up and down the city looking for perfection will result in empty hands. You may have your flaws, and that’s fine -- I surely have mine.

The beauty of relationships is finding another person who can accept these flaws and understand them.

Strive to find someone who doesn’t look to turn a blind eye to these same flaws but appreciates them and, over the course of time, helps compensate for them if need be.

True love isn’t about two perfect people finding each other and living happily ever after -- that’s a fairy tale. True love is when two imperfect people come together to create something beautiful, as one.