5 Horrible Things You Feel When You're In Love
There is no feeling, no experience and no reality like being in love.
It’s a sensory overload. You can walk down the street, meet a certain person and immediately know that your life has just changed. You may not be sure how, but you know that things will be different.
Love makes you feel emotions that you never even thought you were capable of feeling. You feel happier and more joyful than ever before. You feel like things are finally starting to fall into place -- like life isn’t quite as bad, unfair and dark as you thought it was.
Once you fall in love, you’ll never stop craving it. It stands in complete contrast to the world that we’ve grown accustomed to. It changes you.
And it's not just the positive emotions that make falling in love unforgettable. In fact, one of the main reasons we never forget the people we loved -- and find it so difficult to let go of them -- is because of all the horrible things we feel when we’re in love.
Being in love lifts you into the sky and buries you in dirt. It’s the rollercoaster ride that love takes you on -- the constant ups and downs, highs and lows -- that sends you into a tailspin.
But the horrible is necessary for the good to feel as good as it does. You can’t have one without the other. It’s impossible. So when you feel these five horrible emotions, understand that it’s all part of the game that is love.
1. You feel anxious -- just about all the time.
What is there to be anxious about, you ask?
Well, where to begin?
When you meet someone you’re interested in, it takes time to allow yourself to fall in love. Some say that love at first sight exists, but that isn’t true -- at least, not for those of us who love on a mature level. For the more experienced, we need time to accept that we're able to love a particular person.
It takes time for us to tear down our walls, to open ourselves up to the idea of making ourselves vulnerable again.
Even when we allow ourselves to accept love, we still find ways to worry. We worry about whether or not a partner is worthy of our love. We worry about whether or not our love is being reciprocated. We worry about making a mistake, if our hearts will get broken all over again.
Our anxiety will change intensity from one moment to the next, but it’s always going to present in love.
2. You feel unsure of yourself.
Maybe you're even a little self-conscious.
It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re the smartest, richest, kindest, most beautiful person in the world. When you finally meet someone you give a sh*t about, you’re going to worry about whether or not you’re "good enough."
You most certainly are good enough, and the fact that you’re worried is a very good sign. You’re worried because you’ve found someone that you’re afraid of losing. You’ve found someone that you want to impress. You want to do everything perfectly.
It’s not that you lack confidence. You’ve just found love, and you're afraid to lose it. It’s completely normal to feel that way.
3. You feel jealous, usually for no good reason.
She’s just hanging out with some of her friends. Sure, they’re guy friends, but they’re JUST friends. Right?
Yes, he hasn’t messaged you back in an hour, but you know that it’s because he’s busy working and not because he’s banging his secretary in the bathroom. Right?
You know all of this. But you’re still jealous.
All I can say is this: Embrace it. Embrace the fact that you want someone so much that even the thought of abandonment hurts. Embrace the fact that you fear losing your partner. Embrace that you’re jealous.
But don’t do something stupid. Jealousy is an emotion. Acting on it is a decision.
4. You feel an almost unquenchable yearning.
You miss this person. And it's not a feeling you can specifically pinpoint. You don't know why you feel the way you do. All you know is that you want to see your person again.
Not tomorrow. Not in an hour. Now.
You want him or her in your arms right this very moment. And though missing someone feels really, really good, it also hurts like hell.
Yearning for someone is as pleasant as it is miserable. It’s a need. And it's never entirely pleasant to need something or someone.
You may even enjoy the fact that you have someone in your life worth missing. But not having that person is never enjoyable.
5. You feel uncertain.
The problem (if that’s what you want to call it) with love is that the intense emotions never last. They don’t. They won’t. They can’t.
The reason love initially feels so intense is because of the drastic contrast it presents with how we’re used to living. When things are so incredibly mediocre, love overwhelms.
Once we get accustomed to the love and to our new reality, our senses become numb. We reach a point of comfort and relaxation.
People can confuse this natural transition with falling out of love. But that’s just silly.
Love can't be defined entirely by the emotions that we feel. Those feelings simply make us aware that the person we found is someone worth keeping around.
If things settle and you begin to question whether or not you're truly in love, you're inviting a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you decide you don’t love this person, then you won’t.
If, on the other hand, you decide you’re smarter than the average schmuck, that the emotions you’ve felt aren’t the only things that you’re looking for -- or, better yet, that they aren’t enough -- you’ll choose to love.
And that’s the greatest decision you’ll ever make.