Driven By Heartbreak: Hopeless Romantics Are Actually The Most Hopeful

by Dan Scotti

I’ve tried explaining what love is -- to people who have never felt it (at least not from a romantic point of view) -- and it usually falls on deaf ears. A lot of times, people just end up looking at me like I’m crazy or something.

It’s never really bothered me, though. I mean it’s not much different from a lot of the other sh*t I feel passionate about (and people snarl at) -- things like Phish, raw oysters and traveling alone, for that matter. But, in like manner, love is an acquired taste.

And while some people may act apathetic about all topics relating to love, I doubt this comes from a place of aversion as much as it does one of inexperience.

Love is one of those things you have to go through first to be able to truly identify with (and appreciate), so I can’t say I’ve ever expected an outsider’s eyes to light up after my often-crudely worded interpretations of it.

Yet among those who have been lucky enough to find love, they’ll probably assure you no words are all that necessary for its definition. As soon as you feel it, for yourself, suddenly, it will begin to make sense in a way words could never define.

It’s like a switch gets flipped, and you’re waist-deep in love. It’s enlightening.

Love makes everything better, which, in effect, can serve as one way to describe it. Love is a connection between two people that happens to transcend through every facet of existence, and you’ll be reminded of it at all times.

It’s like a drug -- a magnetism, one that keeps you coming back for more, regardless of what might make the most sense at a given time.

And as a consequence, those who can attest to the beauty of love are also probably no stranger to its ugly side, either -- but that doesn’t mean they’re afraid to try again, if things don’t work entirely to plan.

Everything goes south every now and then -- the true test of persistence is being able to get back up, regardless of how many times you’ve been knocked down.

Yet when this concept is applied to love, it’s typically tagged with a different label -- one that honestly isn’t all that flattering from a literal stance.

See, frankly, I think "persistent lover" has a nice ring to it, but as a society, we’ve gone ahead and decided on “hopeless romantic” to describe these types of people.

But hopeless is a pretty grim word, if you ask me.

Still, regardless of what you choose to call them, people constantly wonder what fuels them; they’re curious as to why hopeless romantics keep trying for something that seems so hard to grasp. As if they’re blindly failing to heed the warnings of broken heart’s past.

Well, the hopeless romantic is no different from any other person with aspirations for a given circumstance, except, in their case, it’s love that’s desired. Hopeless romantics aren’t as much hopeless as they are, simply, hopeful.

Personally, I don’t feel that people who keep faith in love are the ones whose futures look futile. They might get battered and bruised more than others, in an emotional sense, but that doesn’t mean they’re void of hope.

Finding love is a process, and “love at first sight” is, more often than not, a pipe dream.

Love isn't supposed to be easy. Nothing worthwhile is -- remember that.

In my opinion, it’s the people who give up -- after hitting an obstacle -- who are truly the hopeless ones, especially when it comes to love.

Believe me when I say the highs of love will always outweigh its lows, and at the same time, it’s these same lows that will make way for more substantial highs.

If you look to run from commitment or heartbreak, you’ll soon lose sight of what’s even at stake, as your escape tactics become habits. Keep in mind: Being emotionally hardened -- and blocking off any romantic prospect -- requires just as much energy as being open to it (with much less room for gratification).

The way I’ve always seen it, the true essence of hopelessness is found when people’s fates have already been sealed -- you know, without hope.

Although these people who walk around claiming they’re “emotionally unavailable” may appear to be invincible to love or heartbreak, they’ve already determined their own fate for themselves.

Sure, hopeless romantics may continually strike out, but at least they’ve got the courage to step into the batter’s box. The more experience they get, the more likely they are to hit one out of the ballpark.

Eventually, I think they will. I can guarantee they’ll find what they’re looking for sooner than the person who’s given up the will.

Success isn’t measured by failure -- or lack thereof -- it’s measured by how you react to it, and, more importantly, how you respond.