Hook-Up Diaries: Escaping Small Package

by Anonymous

It's not uncommon for your mind to wander while you're talking to someone of the opposite sex. Whether out of boredom or genuine curiosity, an interaction with someone you find attractive often will result in, at least, some light daydreaming.

During a conversation with this person you may start to imagine what it would be like to kiss them, the first date, the trip back to their place, and all the activities that will obviously follow. The picture you paint in your mind may set the bar pretty high for any interactions with that person that may materialize after that first meeting.

Whether the real thing measures up to that perfect encounter in your head depends on a few things, but what do you do when he doesn't 'measure up'?

Just like a party or club that doesn't live up to the 'hype' of your friends, Facebook, or various promoters, hooking up with a guy you've had your eye on can sometimes be a huge disappointment. When you've invested time, personality, and outfits into this 'relationship' of sorts, your returns better be big. Even if it's just one night, you've probably put some serious effort into fast-tracking your way into his pants. And congratulations, you've almost succeeded.

He's not a great kisser, but he's not penetrating your esophagus with his tongue either… you can work with this. Just keep telling yourself: the sex will be worth it. Maybe you should help him out a bit; scratch his back and he'll scratch yours, right? You slide his pants down and grip the waistband of his boxers you prepare yourself for the big reveal.

Then, when that last stitch of his boxers slip off his hips, you stop breathing for a minute. As you go through every excuse in your head about temperatures or an early evening swim, you must face the truth. His equipment is travel size and you're not on vacation.

You have two choices here. Persevere or run far, far away. It may not always be the size of the boat that matters, but you're not about to waste your night gauging the motion of the ocean. Who knows, despite his shortcomings he could be the best lay you've ever had. But, is it worth the risk to find out? You could play the period card and just finish him off but let's be honest; this unfortunate development isn't your fault. What's a girl to do?

There are plenty of awkward situations that can ruin an evening featuring of a bump in the road of this nature. Most cannot be predicted ahead of time and must be dealt with instantly. Your cunning, wit, and catlike reflexes may be no match for the surprises lurking in a lover's bedroom.

At a moment's notice you must decide who is more important. Are willing to insult them? It takes some serious balls to tell the truth to someone's face and outright reject him for something he may not be able to control. Are you a good liar? If not, you will probably hurt their feelings anyway but at least you'll probably get yourself out of the situation.

The karma sutra doesn't cover bedroom etiquette. What happens before, after, or in place of sex is unique to every person and situation. If faced with a small penis or another sexual “problem”, of sorts, you must decide for yourself how to handle it. While leaving abruptly may seem rude, does anyone really find good manners sexy?

Alyssa Marino | Elite.