Such A Tease: 10 Ways You May Be Leading On Your Lesbian Friend


At some point, every lesbian will be in a situation of being unsure whether a straight lady-friend wants to be more than a friend.

Being in this dilemma results in countless hours of internal debate about whether the smiles and kind gestures are simply a reflection of her being a personable human being, or whether she’s sending more than just friendly vibes our way.

It’s a confusing time for a lesbian stuck in such a scenario.

We’ve slowly been conquering the outlandish claim that we are converters of heterosexuals, which can be true if you’re cute and do in fact want to be converted.

Whether you do or do not want to venture over to our playing field, be advised that the following 10 actions will blur the lines between platonic friendliness and flirtation:

You text anything with hearts.

Unless you’re using heart icons followed by something like a slice of pizza, there are very few instances when texting a lesbian something with a heart will not result in confusion.

An emoticon to especially stay away from is the face with the heart eyes; don’t do that. We will think you’re blinded by our beauty and are in love with us.

You refer to hanging outs as “dates.”

If we make plans to hang out and you respond with, “it’s a date,” there is a good possibility we will take that literally.

If you don’t want it to be interpreted that way, find another response and confusion will be avoided.

You like and comment on the majority of our Facebook or Instagram posts.

Unless we’re Ellen DeGeneres, there is a slim chance that everything we post is like or comment-worthy.

What becomes even more suspicious is when you’ve liked old pictures.

There is no explanation for this behavior, except that you went to our profiles and creeped on us. We always translate creeping as interest.

You get extra friendly when intoxicated.

This transcends beyond the straight-lesbian interactions, and will always be a strong indicator of attraction.

We will dance with you without thinking anything of it, but if you start whispering in our ears rather than shouting over the music or using us as a dancing pole, the lines of friendship will gets crossed.

We don’t mind lines being crossed; we’ve been drawing outside the lines for a while now. Just make sure you really intend to go there.

You tell us you’ve been curious.

This is confusing because we don’t know if you’re confiding in us as a friend, or if you’re hinting at the possibility that we’ll one day make out.

Out of respect for having gone through the coming out process ourselves, we’ll usually consider this to be a moment in which you’re confiding in us as a friend.

However, if you tell us while intoxicated, we’ll usually ask if you want to make out.

You compare your boyfriend to us.

Complaining about your uncharming boyfriend is not usually seen as an innuendo, but if you compare your boyfriend’s habits or actions to ours, the lines get blurry.

If you’ve compared, it signals that you’ve contemplated what it would be like to date us rather than the man you are in a relationship with.

You unnecessarily touch us.

I’m not talking about the conventional hello or goodbye hugs; those are socially expected.

I’m talking about the times you’re laughing at something we said and feel the need to accompany the laugh by touching our arm or leg.

The leading on becomes even more severe if what we said in the first place was not that funny.

You ask too many questions about our sexuality.

As homosexuals, we’re used to being asked certain questions like when we came out, however, two questions that signal to us you’re asking for personal reasons are when and how we knew we were lesbians. I

n our minds, you might as well insinuate that you’re feeling something and not sure what it means.

You ask us if we can be platonic friends with you.

This can be a legitimate question if we have been flirtatious with you and you’re trying to shut that down.

Rarely do sane lesbians get themselves into situations where they need to be shut down.

As females, we tend to be gifted with intuition, so if we make a pass and we don’t feel the reciprocation, we usually stop the creepiness and don’t try again.

So, unless you are dealing with a crazy one, asking us this question means our answer will almost always be something along the lines of, “If that’s what you want then of course.” We just opened the door — the ball is now in your court.

You compliment us.

Most compliments result in us trying to determine whether you were flirting with us.

If you compliment us on our cool lesbian haircuts, dapper dress apparel or just say we look cute, we’re likely to dwell on that for a few hours.

We’ll usually conclude that the compliment was just a compliment, but pairing this with any of the other nine actions can result in your lesbian friend getting the wrong idea.

If you find yourself doing these things with a lesbian and wonder why she’s looking at you with an inquisitive stare, it’s probably because she’s mentally trying to determine whether your friendship is just a friendship.

If it is, there’s no better way to pull us back to reality than by talking about some hot guy you’re crushing on.

But, if these are signals you’re trying to send, put us out of our mental misery and just say something already.