How Changing Your Perspective Can Change The Way You Deal With Heartache

by Jason Butler

When you really like someone, you are willing to put up with and accept a lot more than you would when if you weren't emotionally involved.

You try not to get aggravated when he or she makes plans with you, cancels them and ignores you for months, or when he or she sends you nasty texts, shows up at places you're at unexpectedly and then begs for your forgiveness.

You try and suppress any disappointment you feel when you realize that he or she actively tries his or her best to avoid you at places you hang out at, and then deal with the dismay of watching them give nervous facial expressions as they look for any excuse they can find for why they can’t hang out with you even after they tried to get your attention to talk.

You know all of this is wrong. You start feeling embarrassed and hate yourself for letting someone get away with disrespecting you so fully, and constantly letting it happen again and again.

You become angry for giving someone so much power as you think about how much they don’t take you seriously and view you as a pushover.

For those of you unfortunate enough to find yourselves in situations like this, you know full well how hard it is to deal with someone you care so much about who doesn’t like you back. You understand how easily it creeps into every crevice of your being to negatively alter your perspective on your life and self-worth.

But while perspective can be your greatest enemy in a situation like this, it can also be an incredible ally. The same perspective you used to generate some idealistic version of this person is the same perspective you should use to bring yourself back down into reality.

Instead of letting the opinion of one person be the most important, understand that there are so many other people whose opinions are just as valid who think you’re an awesome person to be around.

Rather than letting one person make you believe that you are alone, pay attention and realize just how many people you have in your life who are constantly asking you to hang out and want to know what you are up to.

For every one person who tries to put you down, know that there are probably many other people who want to hold you up.

Do not perceive this person as otherworldly or put them on a pedestal. When you are really into somebody, your perspective of him or her is that he or she is better than anyone else.

You think that how they talk, dress, what they like, how they think and everything they do is so much better than anyone else you know, when in fact they may be more basic than a 14 on the pH scale.

Perceiving someone as a normal human being rather than from the viewpoint of your emotions will probably help you realize that he or she is just a normal person contributing nothing to his or her life or anyone else’s. While you do this, ask yourself if all of the frustrations compared to what little happiness you experience from this person is really worth it.

But most importantly, don’t ever take the perspective that everything that happened was because of you. When a person turns you down, it’s easy to fall into the darkness that is perceiving yourself as not good enough for someone.

You start to think that maybe you aren’t attractive, that your personality sucks or that you aren’t accomplishing enough in life.

The perspective you need to take in this situation is that this person is not good enough for you. Maybe he or she doesn't have the capacity to understand the level that YOU are at in life. Maybe they can't handle that you're more polished, accomplished and mature than he or she is.

As long as you are working hard toward your goals, you are accomplishing enough in life. As long as there isn’t a Facebook hate group dedicated to you that every member of the gender you are attracted to joined, there are people who think you are outrageously attractive.

And as long as you do your best to be a positive influence on people’s lives, people will be drawn to that kind of personality. Don’t ever let the opinion of just one person change that perspective.

Your perspective is your reality and your strength, and you can get through anything with the proper mindset.

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