I hate you. I love you. I can't stand you. Have you ever felt these psychotic, swirling emotions while thinking about your lovely ex?
I know most self-help books and love advice gurus will hate me for saying this, but there is something extremely beneficial about being angry with your ex, instead of sad and depressed about your breakup.
Disclaimer: I'm not some angry person walking around, thinking that anger is amazing and sensitivity is weak.
In fact, my oversensitive nature is a curse that has led me to get hurt time and time again.
As a guy, this is not exactly a fun thing to go through. So, don't take what I've written and make any kind of assumption. Now, with that said, let's get to the five reasons why being angry is beneficial when it comes to dealing with breakups:
1. It gives you motivation.
Think about a time when you were extremely angry.
I'm talking about a burning, unexplainable rage that harasses your every waking thought, dominates your behavior and utterly tortures your mind with relentless fury.
Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. But, the point I'm trying to make is this: Being angry gives you a special kind of adrenaline rush that increases your energy. It's better and more potent than having many cups of coffee.
Think about it: When you are angry at your ex, you will have this newfound energy and fury that will make you more productive. You will have more energy to get things done and accomplish things you've been putting off.
Heck, maybe you'll even do something wacky and completely off the wall, thanks to this newfound energy. It will change your life for the better.
2. It makes the pain less painful.
I think back to fights I've had with exes who I felt like I was truly in love with. (I suppose I was in love, but that isn't the point here.)
The point is this: I remember that we would get into these crazy, heated, massive blow-up kind of arguments. I would get so angry that I would feel like I was seeing red.
Well, in those moments — when I would be sitting there, stewing in that pot of rage — I would feel OK with us breaking up. I truly felt fine not having her in my life.
I felt like I could find a sense of peace in the idea of us no longer being together. But when I wasn't angry, the way I felt about her constantly caused me pain.
3. Anger is better than sadness.
This is an obvious, but clearly true statement. Crying yourself to sleep at night, doing things to try to forget about your ex because you are in so much pain and going through spells of overwhelming sadness because you miss him or her so badly are all horrible things to go through.
Instead of this sadness, think about how much easier anger is to deal with. I would take anger over sadness any day.
4. You will have an easier time dating someone else.
It's a lot easier to start dating someone again when you're angry at your ex, instead of sad and depressed about the breakup.
Instead of spending hours of your life plotting and trying to figure out how to get your ex back, you will be able to meet new people.
In this way, you can experience something fresh, new and different. Being able to meet and mingle is a lot easier when you're angry instead of sad, moping at home and feeling miserable.
5. It's a lot easier to get over someone if you're angry.
How does it feel when you have a break-up playlist playing in your car? How does it feel when you walk around in a melancholy state of misery and utter despair? How does it feel when you are driving your car, and a song that reminds you of your ex starts playing on the radio?
It obviously doesn't feel good. Guess what happens when you are assaulted with these poignant reminders of your long-lost love?
It makes it almost impossible to get over him or her. Being sad makes it so difficult to truly feel like you've moved on.
But when you embrace your anger, you find it easier to ignore the poignant reminders of your past. You move toward the future.
Plus, the only path through any emotional block is through experiencing it, accepting it and moving on. If you never deal with your anger, you can never move past it. By accepting it and processing it, you make it much easier to move on.