It's hard being in love, but it's even harder knowing you're not the only one he's with.
That's the problem with being the other woman.
You're head over heels, but you need to understand one thing: You're never going to get him to break up with her.
Here are five hard truths every "other woman" should know:
1. Understand that he will not leave her for you.
Have you ever been in a fling for a good amount of time -- maybe even half a year -- but he just won’t settle?
He claims he “doesn’t want a relationship.” But next thing you know, he's in one.
He's just with a different woman.
Or maybe you've met a guy who’s in a long-term relationship, but he continues to cheat on her with you?
I don’t know if that guy is a douchebag.
Wait: Actually, I do know.
What I don’t know is if he's intentionally trying to hurt you.
But either way, it seems you’re living and feeding on the pain.
Throughout my lifetime, I've met many women who were scared of finding real love.
They're scared of the kind of love that stings and burns, the kind that has its ups and downs.
So instead of taking that leap of faith, they settle for the easy road.
That could entail going for the guy who has a girlfriend, or the guy who lives across the world.
2. You may be connecting a dot that does not exist.
Unfortunately, I can't answer why he chooses to be in a serious relationship with her.
However, I do know you are choosing them wrong.
I know he’s not going to leave the woman who’s been there for years, and who sleeps with him whenever and wherever he wants.
Guys may play dumb, but they are as wise as foxes when they want to be.
They know which women they want to bring home to mom, which women they just want to show off to their friends and which women to bring home from the bars at 2 am.
Stop getting involved with the guys who continuously lead you on and claim to not be looking for anything.
Deep down, you know they are just looking elsewhere.
In the end, he’s going to do the same thing to you that he did so many times before.
Don't be a placeholder for what he really wants.
You’re not someone to just “pass time with.”
Even when you think he’s finally changed, he’s going to do it again.
Didn't we know that already, ladies?
3. Chase dreams, aspirations and goals. Don't chase guys with commitment issues.
The sex doesn’t determine anything or everything. It’s just another factor in the equation.
I know of relationships where the woman slept with the guy on the first night, and three years later, they’re still together.
He’s going to decide whether you’re a keeper or not by himself.
4. Keep track of any “boyfriend behavior.”
I'm talking about a deeper commitment on his part, like “future" talks.
Have you heard about the swinging branch theory?
It’s when a guy stays in a relationship even if it’s falling apart, all while keeping other women lined up.
He won’t leave his girlfriend until there’s another one who's worth it.
But until then, he’s getting the best of both worlds.
Pay close attention to what is transpiring between you and him.
5. There is no penalty for him if he decides he no longer wants you.
There's not. He can leave whenever the f*ck he wants.
Don't waste your time on a pity party with your girlfriends, going on and on about what you did to deserve him leaving you like that.
Be assertive and decide for yourself.
Know from the start what you're getting yourself into.
Respect the fact that he has a girlfriend.
Let him toss and turn by himself.
If the relationship doesn’t work and he finally decides he’s ready to commit to you, the tables will turn. You will be the one leading the parade.
Girlfriend or no girlfriend, you can spot a jerk a mile away.
Think long and hard before you decide to get into that labyrinth.
Be the person he can’t stop thinking about when he’s surrounded by people who aren’t you.