What Guys Really Think When You Sleep With Them On The First Date
For a long time, society has treated the gender standards for having sex unfairly.
Often, men who have a lot of sex are viewed as the alpha males of their respective groups of friends while women who choose to do the same are viewed in a much different light.
I’m not sure how this came to be the case, but it leaves women constantly walking on eggshells whenever the prospect of having sex arises.
I mean, according to society’s standards, when a woman has too much sex, she’s a “slut.”
When she has sex too early on, she’s “easy.”
Having said that, men are usually handed a hall pass whenever it comes to this type of criticism.
In fact, the same things women get condemned for, with respect to sex, men will get praised.
Like I said, we’ve treated gender standards unfairly for years -- especially when it comes to matters pertaining to sex. And, of all these matters, I feel like the specific timing of when a woman chooses to have sex is the one met with the most hypocrisy and negligence.
For a woman, having sex on a first date tends to be a very touchy subject, typically due to the fear of what other people might think afterwards.
When it comes to sex and one’s own body, however, the opinions of others should hardly come into play.
At the very least, people shouldn’t be condemned for choosing to live a certain way -- regardless of gender. Thankfully, being that it’s the year 2015, I feel we’ve all made strides as a society in narrowing the gender judgment gap.
Frankly, I’ve never felt the urge to judge a woman by when she felt it was right to have sex. Sex just happens.
There’s no correct time for it.
If it doesn’t matter for the two people involved in the experience, no one else has the right to offer his or her commentary.
As a guy, however, I can explain why I don’t see anything wrong with a woman -- or anyone -- having sex on the first date.
It's a double standard.
It would be ignorant for men to discount the double standard women face with respect to sex on the first date. Often, when this happens, men get high fives while women find themselves slapped with the “easy” label.
Personally, I don’t really think too much into it. I don’t think when you have sex holds any bearing on who you are as a person or is at all reflective of your self-worth.
I like to think a man, in this day and age, would be mature enough to understand a woman shouldn’t be judged by when she feels she’s ready to have sex -- especially when he's on the other side of the bed, right there with her.
Sexual "purity" isn’t a true indicator of anything.
“...If we start electing presidents on the basis of their sexual purity, some real monsters will get into the White House...” – Hunter S. Thompson
While Thompson was most famous for his political analysis, this quote, in particular, has less to do with the White House and more to do with the relevance -- or lack thereof -- of sexual history. And just because you abstain from having sex for a certain duration of time doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a saint, by any stretch of the imagination.
At the same time, the fact that you decided to have sex on the first night shouldn’t speak to your character, either. At the end of the day, when you chose to have sex is not a true barometer for anything outside of just that -- when you chose to have sex. It’s not indicative of anything else.
It’s nobody else's business.
Ultimately, I don’t feel like anyone -- man or woman -- has the right to cast judgments about whether you had sex on the first date, second date or any date for that matter. Sex is a private matter, which is why it’s usually done with the doors shut -- and not out in public.
It’s also a very personal matter and because of this, people will have their own unique opinion about how they choose to go about it.
With that said, there’s also no universally right or wrong way to approach the topic. What works for one person, might not work for the next.
The bottom line is everyone has a different set of values. Some people believe sex is best when you wait, and that’s fine, but it doesn’t give anyone the right to snarl at others who feel differently.
If a woman believes having sex on the first date is appropriate for her, then it’s her own prerogative to do so.
Everyone’s different -- and will ultimately go about having sex differently. You can’t force sex; when it feels right, it’s usually right.
But by trying to adhere to some absurd standard set by society -- decades ago -- you’ll only end up cutting off your nose to spite your own face.