The Guy's Guide To Not F*cking Up Valentine's Day
Let's be real, guys: When it comes down to it, Valentine's Day pretty much revolves around impressing your girlfriend or that very special someone in your life.
If you have a healthy relationship, chances are you've been doing spectacular things all year round to show her how much you love her. However, there is something about Valentine's Day that brings out the tradition of having to prove all of that, times 10, all in a 24-hour period.
That's a lot of pressure, guys, but on the upside, you can look at it as your prime time to shine and score.
But whatever you do, do not -- I repeat, DO NOT -- f*ck it up.
I'm trying to help you ace it with your hunny. Sucking it up and taking the time to plan all the right details will trump having to feel your girlfriend's wrath if you f*ck it up, trust me.
Valentine's Day is commercialized to be "date night" on steroids. And while less extravagant dates are acceptable during other parts of the year, this one needs to be really good.
Before we even get into the steps, allow me to let you in on a little secret: Girls are far more complex than just the token Valentine's Day roses and heart-shaped cards. It's not even really about the present or the price tag… it's all about the careful thought you put into it.
No, really, it is. We want romance, not superficiality.
Girls look forward to that something special, whether it's a pretty box filled with her favorite gourmet chocolates, or cupcakes, or a beautiful bouquet presented by your sexy self at her doorstep. It shows you're thoughtful and romantic.
Because not only has your girl been looking forward to Valentine's Day since Christmas, she is also expecting a little something extra on Valentine's Day, even if she insists she doesn't want anything (the biggest trap of all).
The important thing to keep in mind is that girls do not like the tackiness associated with the holiday. And I'm sure you want to vomit thinking about it as well. We want you to be innovative and romantic. Think about an indulgence she loves that you don't do very often or haven't done in a while… surprise her with it!
There is a romantic in every girl, and it's your job to satisfy it, guys. And whether you want to admit it or not, somewhere deep inside, there's a romantic in YOU, too. And that's a good thing, because you're going to need it.
Here are a few helpful pointers to make sure you don't f*ck up Valentine's Day -- because if you do, you can kiss any chance of you getting a little "present" of your own goodbye.
PS: You'll know you f*cked up when you're getting short texts ending in periods the next day (the punctuation mark of hate) and of her saying she's "fine" (read: not fine). This is code for she's pissed AF because you ruined her Valentine's Day by not giving it enough thought.
But, again, we're not going to let that happen.
1. Be f*cking prepared!
Even though your significant other may be the planner in this relationship, Valentine's Day is the time for you to get your sh*t together. This is your time to step up to the plate because come Valentine's Day, you better believe bases are loaded, and it's the bottom of the ninth.
If you want to take your girlfriend out to dinner, this is really not the time to be spontaneous and wing it. Reservations to any restaurant she'd actually want to eat at book solid weeks in advanced by the smart guys who don't want to f*ck up V-day and piss off their girlfriends. BE ONE OF THOSE SMART GUYS.
Showing up at a restaurant unprepared with no reservation will result in a very unhappy girlfriend. And as you probably already know, if she's not happy, you're not happy.
Choose a place your significant other will love. Request an intimate table for two that isn't in the middle of the floor or right next to the door. Or plan an amazing meal for the two of you at home!
2. Get her flowers, and make sure it's not some sh*tty bouquet.
If you go the bouquet route, do it right. Flowers, bags, shoes, perfume, a girl can smell a cheap knockoff from a mile away.
Don't choose a pre-made bouquet that's covered in cheap and corny plastic wrap. Go the extra mile and actually talk to the florist! A tacky bouquet that's already put together is unacceptable.
And by the way, guys, a single rose works just as effectively. Like I said before, it's not about the money; it's about the thought you put into it.
3. Also get her sweets and chocolate, but be creative.
Your girlfriend will love your creative spin on any Valentine's Day gift you choose. It shows you care.
Chocolate-covered strawberries are a perfect place to start. She will love them, especially if she has a sweet tooth. You can even attempt to make them yourself if you'd like to save a few bucks.
Also, mix it up. Us girls love having options to choose from. Get some white chocolates, and some with milk, and some dark chocolate. You'll also come out winning in the end because she'll probably share some with you, too! Or she'll eat them all, but either way, you made her happy, and that's the game plan all along.
Edible Arrangements has a great selection, in addition to a whole Valentine's Day Collection for yummy gifts your significant other will absolutely love.
4. Cupcakes or gourmet cookies are another key to any girl's heart.
They have to be beautiful, as well as delicious. On Valentine's Day, presentation is everything.
There are unique cupcake shops all over. Choose one, go to it, and pick out her favorite flavors with the prettiest toppings they have.
I cannot stress the appearance enough: colorful, pretty and unique. Cupcakes need to look as good as they taste!
5. Have something delivered to her, and make sure she will be there to open the door.
Guys, I don't know any girl who wouldn't love to receive flowers or a present delivered to her office or apartment on Valentine's Day. Plus, this gives her the perfect opportunity to brag about you to her co-workers -- the gift that keeps on giving.
I know it's hard, but it is SO important that you absolutely make sure you know her schedule. You may have to go above and beyond for this one, but it completely loses the impact when someone else has to receive them for her!
Do your homework, guys, and be on your game with this one. The planning and effort aspect is what she will love.
6. Buy her perfume or anything really personal.
Choose something that you will really love on her. You're the one who will enjoy whatever it the most, so do your end of the legwork, and it will pay off.
You'll most likely hate going to perfume counters or Victoria's Secret, but the fact that you actually went there and picked something out will be so freaking sexy and impress the heck out of her.
7. Just be creative when planning your date, and make a real effort!
I can't help you with this step. You need to have been doing your homework. If you haven't been, skim her Facebook or Instagram for any leads. That's your only hope.
Thinking outside of the box will really win her heart over everything else. What she will love and appreciate the most is a very special, unique plan that shows you really thought this one through.
She doesn't necessarily want to go to the most expensive restaurant in town or need the biggest piece of jewelry; she just needs to know you care enough about her to put an effort in to giving the two of you a really fun night together.
For example, cooking dinner for her can be super sweet, and she may love a night in with her man more than going out. But you have to ultimately know what your girl likes.
OK, you're ready for this. You GOT this step. You're ready for Valentine's Day.
Just be creative, be personal, avoid tacky stuff, and have fun! You're going to CRUSH this.