Maybe She Was The One: 50 Thoughts A Guy Has When His Ex Gets Married

What goes through a guy’s head when he finds out his ex is getting married?

That depends on the guy -- as well as the ex who’s now getting married.

It depends on the relationship they had together, the love they shared and how far out of his league she really was.

No one likes to trade down, especially not men. Our egos will either ruin the chances of such a relationship working, or we’ll warp things around in our minds until the woman we are now with somehow entirely outshines every one of our exes -- no matter how far from the truth the reality we’ve created for ourselves actually is.

Contrary to popular belief, men can be extremely emotional, the only real difference between men and women is that we were taught to suppress those emotions, ignore them and pretend they don’t exist.

Unfortunately, this leads to a lot of confused emotions, as well as overall confusion.

None of my exes have gotten married because -- let’s be honest -- they can’t do better (just joshing), but I can imagine how lost and confused I would feel if one of them did get married.

It's never nice to see someone has moved on from you, especially in the social media world where curated pictures and glossy filters can make faking happy all too easy.

Social media sites have become break-up competitions, where each person projects a kick-ass life away from the other.

It's demeaning and disheartening -- and, ultimately, dishonest to yourself.

So if my ex posted an engagement status with a big, clunky ring...

My head would be a complete mess -- and I’m sure I’m not the only guy who would find himself in a similar predicament.

Any and all of these thoughts are likely to run through a guy’s head when he finds out his ex is getting married:

1. I’m going to be that dude who speaks now -- screw forever holding my peace.

2. Or at least that would be me, but she didn’t even have the courtesy to send me an invitation.

3. ...That’s probably why she didn’t send me an invitation.

4. I never really loved her anyway.

5. Or maybe she was the one…

6. Maybe I’ll never love anyone the way I loved her.

7. Maybe I royally f*cked things up.

8. I wonder if she loves him more than she ever loved me.

9. I guess she must because, otherwise, why would she be getting married?

10. Maybe she’s just settling -- yeah, that must be it.

11. I don’t even know the guy, but he seems like an assh*le.

12. He definitely has a tiny penis.

13. But she wouldn’t marry a guy with a small penis -- f*ck.

14. She was never that good in bed anyway.

15. Except that one time… That one time was awesome.

16. Okay, I’m just lying to myself; the sex was pretty amazing.

17. But I’m sure I’ll find better.

18. There’s always better.

19. Or maybe there isn’t.

20. Maybe I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life.

21. Maybe I’ll never love again.

22. Maybe I’ll never get married.

23. Maybe I had my chance but missed it.

24. I’m such a f*cking idiot.

25. Dumbass.

26. I should have treated her better.

27. I should have appreciated her more.

28. I should have held on to her.

29. But it wasn’t my fault!

30. I was too young to understand what I had.

31. If I knew then what I know now, things would have turned out differently.

32. It should be me standing there next to her, saying “I do.”

33. I need a drink.

34. Maybe a few drinks.

35. Who am I kidding -- I’m going to get wasted.

36. And grab some food. I’m starving.

37. I wonder what kind of food they’re going to be serving at the wedding…

38. F*ck my life. I’m wasting my life away getting wasted, and she’s getting married.

39. I give them six months -- tops.

40. Unless he gets her pregnant.

41. At least I had her during her peak years. It’s all downhill from here, buddy!

42. I want kids.

43. I want a loving wife.

44. I also want to sleep with every beautiful woman in the world.

45. Maybe I don’t actually know what I want…

46. Maybe it’s about time I figure that out.

47. That’s it -- no more dicking around. No more making excuses. No more sleeping around with random women.

48. Maybe I should cut back on drinking.

49. Yeah… I probably should. But best to start tomorrow.

50. Oh sh*t. Tiffany just hit me up. Ah, that’s right… This is why I’m single.

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