When it comes to dating, it's hard to not take small things personally.
Whether over a breakup or a silly comment, it's natural to take certain things to heart. This is especially true in a relationship that involves deep feelings, and it's even truer after rejection.
Women often feel rejected before a relationship has even begun. Let's say you go on a few dates with a dude. Let's say everything is going along great – until the day he abruptly stops calling you.
It's natural to blame yourself, but trust me: It's not always your fault. In our 20s, we're all dealing with a lot of sh*t.
Whether that stress is work-related, family-related or more general, it's part of growing up. And it's better to deal with it now -- before you find someone to settle down with.
A guy's failure to call back doesn't necessarily mean he's not interested in you. Before he gets himself involved, he might need to handle other things. So if you're moping around and thinking you'll never be able to find someone else... Sekkle.
Here are seven reasons -- ones that have NOTHING to do with you -- that we might not be calling you back.
We're emotionally unavailable.
Even after a few dates, you can never fully know what's in our heads. Maybe we're dealing with some hard sh*t. Maybe we're struggling with family or relationship issues that have nothing to do with you. Maybe this is what's stopping us from forming new relationships.
Both people in a relationship need to be receptive for it to work. If one person is still carrying baggage from a prior experience, the relationship will suffer from a lack of emotional framework.
Maybe we're still heartbroken and simply not ready to jump into something new. Come on; you've listened to Drake.
We may be caught up with an ex.
Everyone's got a f*cking “ex problem.” Some people are just better than others at managing this. Maybe it was our first love; maybe it was our most recent love. Maybe it was the girl who messed with our heads the most. Only we know the answer.
You can never rule out the possibility that an old girl is still on our minds -- or in our text messages (most likely under a family member's alias). This doesn't necessarily reflect on our relationship -- yours and mine.
But it makes it harder to focus on creating new memories when we're constantly dragged back into the past.
We might not be "committers."
In life, there are committers and non-committers. Maybe he just isn't a committer.
Relationships are big deals. We may not want to lead you on if we know that we're here for only a short time. There's a good chance we enjoyed our dates; there's a good chance we like you.
But that doesn't change the fact that we're not natural "committers."
Don't take this personally. Different people have different tendencies; it's only natural. I know some people who act as if a gaping void lies between one relationship and the next. They plunge into the single life quickly and without regrets.
I'm not saying that they're right -- or that the non-committer is wrong. They're just different styles.
We could be busy with our careers.
Dating in your 20s means a struggle to juggle your relationship as well as your job. This is especially hard when you're new to a position or trying to get a career off the ground. If a guy hasn't shown much interest after a few days, that doesn't mean he's not into you.
Maybe we're caught up with work or busy focusing on other things. But you assume we're being unapologetically apathetic about a blossoming relationship.
If you really like us, give us time to figure things out and try again. And if that doesn't help ... At least the office has given us a promotion.
We may have another girlfriend.
If the guy isn't preoccupied with an ex, you can't rule out the possibility that he's seeing someone currently -- and it's not you.
I'm not trying to plant seeds of cynicism in the heads of women readers out there. But hey, it's possible.
If you reckon that the two of you had great chemistry, and you're baffled by his lack of interest, you might find the answer outside of the box -- or in an entirely different box. (No pun intended ... seriously.)
We have other intentions.
Maybe our intentions don't match yours. The date might have gone well, but while you're looking for something more long-term, we want someone just to hang with.
You're pushing, we're pulling, and that difference can lead us to us making the selfish choice.
That doesn't mean we didn't enjoy your company. We're just looking out for our own interests -- and would rather not string you along during the process.
We might just like being single.
Hey, everything doesn't have to be so serious. It's completely possible that we just like being single and enjoying the dating scene. We may like playing the field -- playing the game, so to speak.
While this might be a tough realization to accept, it's important that you understand it has nothing to do with you. There's a solid chance that we do in fact like you.
We're just at a point in our lives where we're enjoying the freedom of being single, and we don't want to get involved in something we aren't prepared for. You know, we're being mature.