We're not "crazy" intentionally, and we're not nagging girlfriends because we like to be. These are important facts men need to remember when they're dating women. Sometimes, a few of them forget we don't have to agree or be OK with everything they say, need or want. It's not our obligation as your partner to be happy about every decision you make in your life.
Sometimes, I feel like guys forget that women need them by their side. So, I decided to make a list to shed light on some issues that come up whenever guys decide to live their lives as if they were still single, even when they're not. Yes, we're aware that sometimes going from a "me" to a "we" can be challenging, but isn't it supposed to be an easy transition when it comes to someone you love?
1. Making Decisions
Whenever you're single, life is easy in the way that you can actually do whatever you want. You can decide to leave for a trip at any moment, or maybe you can decide you want to paint your bedroom walls black and purple with gold splotches. It is your space and your life, so you can do whatever crazy decision you want to make because it doesn't affect anybody else.
When you're in a relationship, you have to remember that some decisions are made in pairs. Maybe changing the color of your walls might not be of the liking of your SO, and maybe leaving for a trip at the last minute will not work for your partner. Sometimes, when you make decisions on your own, it hurts our feelings because we like to be taken into account.
We like to feel like we're part of your life and not just an obstacle stopping you from getting what you want. We'd love to help you get your dreams and goals, but we truly hope you don't leave us behind because it's easy or convenient.
2. Better Plans
When you're single, it's easy to jump into a plan that seems fun because it's just you. You can decide to go to a concert or party at the very last minute, and maybe you can just jump on a plane and wake up in Vegas. When you're part of a couple and have made previous plans, it is kind of rude when you suddenly decide to do any of these things without taking into account that you already had plans with someone you supposedly love.
We don't like to feel we're nagging you, and we really don't like it when you call us crazy. We're also not being overbearing. It's not like we're not setting your car on fire to keep you from leaving your house or canceling your credit cards to force you to stay home and not party. We're just trying to remind you to take us into account.
Yes, sometimes we fail at communicating our feelings. But, when you ditch us at the very last minute because it's convenient, or the plan that just came up seems more fun than hanging out with us, it does hurt our feelings.
3. Limited Time Together
You know when one of you has a long trip, and the days you can spend together are counted? When this is the case, we want — and probably expect — you to feel the same way we do. We want to spend every last minute with you, even if it's doing nothing. That's because we love you. We'd rather hang out with you in our pajamas and watch "Hotel Transylvania" for the third time than be out in heels with friends, or in a crowded bar, trying to push our way to the bathroom.
When we know we have a limited amount of time with you, we want to make the most out of it. That doesn't make us possessive, intense, crazy or controlling. We know what we want, but if you cut our time in half because you'd rather be at a bar with your bros, then there's nothing we can do about it. We do feel displaced because you're treating us like an option, not a priority.
Some of you may read this and think I'm exaggerating, but these are the things that make women really rethink what we're doing with certain guys. We question if we made a good choice by trusting them with our fears, problems, bodies and hearts.
Whenever you think your girlfriend is being unreasonable or crazy, stop and think for a second. Ask yourself, "What am I doing? What am I communicating to her with my actions?" Sometimes, you really do love her, but your actions scream that you'd rather be out with anybody else. Sometimes, you really want her there, but just handle the situation wrongly.
Communication is a very important part of relationships. It's also important you both work toward the same goal within your relationship. We don't want to nag you or drag the words out of you. We want you to try to understand our points of view as much as we try to understand yours.
Sometimes, there's no connection, and that's why the communication seems to be less than good. However, when there's a connection, and you both can see a future, it is important for both parties involved to be attentive to what the other person needs.
Stop calling us crazy, and stop treating us as if we are nothing but immature children who get mad when they don't get their way. Try walking a mile in out very high-heeled shoes, and you'll see we're more than an option.