He's Not Good Enough For You
In today's age of difficult dating, women are often hindered by living in cities where the number of single women outweighs the number of single men.
Not only does this give men the upper hand in the relationship, but unfortunately, it also leads many women “settling” for second best because they don't think that they can or deserve to be with someone better.
For many women, the subtext of most magazine articles and conversations with their girlfriends is “just be happy that you have a man.” I'm here to let you women know that this shit has got to stop, and how you can tell when he just isn't good enough for you.
He's Batting Above His Average
He's a 5 on a good day; you're a 9 even when you're hungover, wearing last night's make-up. You often suggest doggy style so you don't have to look at his face, and you imagine it's Ryan Gosling giving it to you. People often think you're playing a joke on them when you first introduce him as your boyfriend. When they realize that it's true they attempt to awkwardly recover. It's time for you to trade up.
He Lives with his Parents
I don't mean he moved back in with his parents temporarily until he gets back on his feet – I mean he has no intention of moving out from his parent's house. Ever.
When you do question his choice of abode, he looks at you incredulously and replies “Why would I move out when I get three meals cooked for me daily, my laundry cleaned and folded and I don't ever have to pay rent?!” Why? Because it's time you grew up and became an adult! This guy is obviously a mama's boy, and if you continue down this road, you will soon have yourself a man-child.
He Has No Ambition
This loser has no plans for the future – but he likes to believe that he's 'living day to day' and tells you that you're just not “spontaneous” like he is. He has no plans to get promoted in his job, travel the world, learn a new language or even pick up a book.
He believes that he is perfect as he is and does not understand when you try to better yourself intellectually, physically or emotionally. When you ask him where your relationship is going, he accuses you of stifling him and not respecting his spontaneous nature.
You find yourself dumbing down your conversations when you're around him. Any words more than three syllables are often met with a blank look on his face. He has no idea when you are being sarcastic, or even the meaning of the word.
Sure, he may be nice to look at, but a pretty face doesn't make up for the fact that you are dating someone with the mental capacity of a 5-year-old.
He's Socially Retarded
You can never bring him out to any social engagements because he has no idea how to converse appropriately with strangers. The one time you invited him to a work event, you found him attempting to show his third nipple to your managing director. He still doesn't know why you found this to be unacceptable public behavior.
We all know the type the freeloading dude who spends his days in the coffee shop, nights playing in a band and lives with his parents. However, freeloaders aren't always easy to spot. It may start slowly as he "forgets" his wallet or has his car "repaired," but if you notice that these situations are becoming more normal than exceptions, it's time to run.
You are not an ATM, a taxi driver, a cell phone provider, hotel or sex machine. A real relationship consists of contributions from both sides – not just emotionally, but also financially. If you find that you're becoming his sugar-momma, kick the freeloader to the curb.
He's a Ginger
Ladies – it's time you raised your standards. Stop expecting guys to fuck up, acting like it's okay for them to be assholes and making excuses for them when they don't make an effort. Have some more respect for yourself and don't settle until you find yourself an equal.