Boys have fooled, misled and broken the hearts of women. On behalf of my entire gender, I apologize. I'm sorry that there are people out there who are mentally immature, rude and unappreciative of how amazing of an individual you are.
I believe that forgiveness is the only way for true peace and recovery to transpire, but we should never forget. You must realize what happened, but never assume that the next man in your life will be so cruel.
So many men have learned the tricks of the trade and have found ways to earn back your trust to make you think they are some kind of Prince Charming, only to reveal their true colors when times get rough.
Without further ado, are 10 key traits to look for when you think you may have found a guy who is worthy of your time.
1. See how he treats his mother.
If a man cannot respect or treat his own mother with love, care and affection, how can he love and respect someone he hardly even knows? Answer: He can't. A man will send his mother random flowers on a Tuesday.
A man will be there to comfort his mother in her rare time of need, just like she did countless times for him. A boy will likely not be as reliable.
2. What are his friends like?
Are all of his friends immature? Do they go to the bar every single weekend looking to score? A man puts himself in environments that best fit him. If his friends are childish, chances are he is, too.
Sometimes, men have several groups of friends: one for drinking, one for sporting events, etc. The key is to discover to which group he shows his true colors the most.
3. He has goals in life.
Big or small, it's always important to have goals. Discover his goals and figure out how he prioritizes them. For example, if getting a "sweet pair of shoes" is more important than landing a well-paying job, say goodbye.
I'm not saying he needs to have his whole life plotted out, but he should have a good idea about his ideal future is and hopefully, you are a part of that future.
4. What is his father like?
There's two extremes to this: A man can be an exact clone of his father or he can learn from his father's flaws and try to better himself. See if any of his father's traits (good or bad) are part of his makeup.
If his father was a bum or loved to gamble, that doesn't exactly mean he will, too, but it's always a good idea to be super aware of his characteristics and mannerisms. If any negative aspects that resemble his father start to blossom, it may be a sign that there's more to come.
5. He's passionate.
He knows what his talents are and he excels at them. He has a passion for everything in life and he lives his life with a purpose. He appreciates each day as a new opportunity to better himself, his life and also his loved ones.
6. He's understanding.
He's always in control of himself and his actions. Instead of letting his raw emotions get the best of him, he rationalizes and tries putting himself in other people's shoes. He understands that people make mistakes and we are only human.
7. He's confident.
Confidence is the food of the wise and the liquor of the fool. There's a fine line between being confident and being cocky or arrogant. A man will see himself positively from both the inside and outside. A man without confidence is a man without trust in himself.
If he doesn't believe in himself, then most likely, he won't believe in you.
8. He has a soft side.
Men need to understand that it's okay to have a soft side. It's okay to show your true feelings and be vulnerable. There's nothing worse than someone, whom you know is hurt, lashing out and growing a hard exterior shell to shield him or herself from the outside world.
Some men feel that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness; I believe the complete opposite. Expressing yourself emotionally or stepping outside of your comfort zone will only help you earn the trust you deserve.
9. His manners are on point.
There's a time and a place for everything, and sometimes, letting out a few f-bombs can be appropriate. Otherwise, he holds the door open for you, tells you you're beautiful (and means it) and looks you in the eyes when he speaks to you.
Sometimes, men feel that these things are only necessary in the beginning of the relationship, and that's where they go wrong. The kindness and affection can eventually go away, but if anything, the longer the relationship, the more a man should do those things.
10. He takes care of himself.
Men who take cares of themselves are becoming a rarity. Many men are out of shape and look like they dressed themselves in the dark. I'm not saying if a man doesn't have a six-pack, he's un-dateable because that would be incredibly unfair and shallow.
Rather, I'm simply saying that a man should have self-respect for himself, should want to take care of his body and should at least try to make himself look presentable.
Women of the world, I hope this list will help you find the man you deserve. I truly believe that love is out there for everyone. Understand that there's no perfect man out there; in some way or another, we all have flaws.
It's important that we acknowledge our flaws and try to correct them to the best of our ability. Someday, you will be the one helping your friends find a man who can compare to the amazing one in your life — your modern day Prince Charming.
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