3 Reasons Why Giving An Ultimatum Is The Death Wish To Your Relationship
When you are negotiating for a car or a house, you are taught to offer a price with which you are comfortable and then walk away without looking back. This is how you bring the power back to yourself, rather than taking it away from the opposing party.
While this might work for negotiations with tangible objects, I have found that it never works for dealing with intangible relationships.
The main reason to give an ultimatum is to claim the power of the relationship. While many think that one person in the relationship holds more power than another, I like to believe that an equal balance of power is possible, just difficult to attain.
Anyway, in order to take power in a relationship, sometimes people give ultimatums. These people like to believe that an ultimatum will ignite fear in the other party, suggesting that the relationship could potentially fail.
Of course, in order to make a relationship last, you must stay away from ultimatums -- here are three reasons why:
1. Ultimatums create and fester resentment.
If someone agrees to something under the pressure of an ultimatum, the person will eventually realize the associated trickery and pressure, which might lead a person to feel less interested in the relationship.
Pressuring someone to be in a relationship or making a person do something he or she doesn't want to do is never a good strategy.
2. Ultimatums create situations in a which both parties are fighting for power.
Try as much as you can to create a relationship in which there is an equal balance of power. If one person has far more power than another, there is an imbalance, which will always result in a fallout. People do not like being put in positions of diminished power for too long – it isn't great for our egos.
It's not that we necessarily enjoy playing these power games, but sometimes, we end up playing them due to misguided intentions. Stay away from them; they are just not worth it.
3. Lastly, ultimatums create negativity in relationships.
All of us aspire to be in relationships that are full of positive energy, as no one wants to be constantly surrounded with negativity. Eventually, if you create too much negativity, your loved one will not want to be around you quite so much and will find excuses to stay away.
This is never a good thing for a relationship.
Instead of giving ultimatums, try to find a conclusion that will make both parties happy. Though many people aren't so much into compromises because they hinder you from getting exactly what you want, compromises allow you to get partially what you want, which is great.
Compromises eliminate resentment, as both parties are left to sacrifice, so there is no power struggle.
Compromises create relationships that possess long-lasting promise, which is what all of us are ultimately looking to have. Compromise can be a tough concept to grasp.
Gen-Yers have learned about individualism and want everything immediately, but we don't like the idea of compromise. However, compromise is important in any successful relationship, especially the ones that last for that desired happily-ever-after.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It